38
Aptavani-9
party and his stance is one that creates apprehension in the
party; that is called a tragu. The caring people around him will
say, ‘Please come and join us, we would like your company.’
They will feed him. But if they were to ignore him, he would eat
on his own. No one has starved to death.
That is not a tragu - manipulative tantrum
Questioner: Someone locks himself in a room when he
gets upset. Everyone else in the home becomes restless but he
will not open the door. Is that a tragu?
Dadashri: That is not a tragu. That is obstinacy
(aadayee); tragu is a different thing.
Questioner: Is it a tragu when one pounds his fists on
his chest or bang his head on a wall?
Dadashri: When people bang their heads, some of it is
aadayee and some of it is a tragu. The word tragu is
something very different; in a tragu the one doing the tragu is
not affected by it at all. In aadayee, that person continues to
experience internal suffering. Simply put, tragu is pure acting!
Locking one’s self in a room is obstinacy. In a tragu, the person
cries and shouts but remains unperturbed from within. Locking
one’s self in a room and scaring family members is all obstinacy.
She suffers and makes others around her suffer too. In a tragu,
she herself is not affected and yet she does a tragu; that is
tragu! We need a definition, do we not? Surely you cannot label
any action as a tragu, can you?
Keep your distance from manipulative
tantrum (tragu)
Tragu does tremendous damage.
Questioner: Can you explain tragu with an example?
Dadashri: Can you not tell when someone is doing a
tragu? You may not know how to do a tragu but can you not
tell when someone is doing it?