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Aptavani-6
deal with those large numbers with equanimity, then gradually
the force will weaken. This is all pudgal. Pudgal means that
which was filled (puran) is now coming out (galan is the
discharge, the effect). Settle this with equanimity, with a calm
and composed mind, free of any hindrance or conflicts (do
sambhave nikaal).
So by a certain expectation (apeksha) you are Chandulal,
by another expectation you are a boss, by another you are her
father-in-law. But would you not know by what apeksha you
are a father-in-law? Would you not know your limitations? If
someone insists that you are her father-in-law forever, then you
will say, ‘No sir, no one can be a father-in-law forever!’
‘You’ are a Shuddhatma – the pure Soul, and ‘Chandulal’
is something that has possessed (vadgan) You. The reason you
get pulled in only the direction of ‘Chandulal’ is because it has
been the practice (adhyas) of countless past lives. If the doctor
gives you instructions not to use your right hand, you will
inadvertently end up using it. But ‘this’ awareness of the Self is
such that you will know right away that a mistake has occurred.
The Self verily is awareness (jagruti). The Self is the Gnan, but
the unawareness (ajagruti) of the past old habit of ‘I am Chandulal’
unfolds and therefore, you end up taking a little beating in it.
Questioner: Sometimes, ‘This is my son,’ ‘This is my
daughter,’ happens and then, ‘I am the pure Soul and all this is
not mine, not mine,’ also happens.
Dadashri: There is multiplication going on within of, ‘He
is my son,’ and so you have to divide it with, ‘Not mine, not
mine.’ Within, there are all kinds of multipliers and dividers.
There is not just one or two. This is all illusionary attachment
(maya). Maya will show you all kinds of things. You will have
to recognize and know all that. You will have to recognize the
multiplier, ‘This is my enemy,’ and the divider, ‘This is my well-
wisher.’