536
Aptavani-2
of your madness! What is wrong with other dolls? We can get
you a Japanese one (mannequin) dressed up in a sari, how
about that? But he will say, “No. I want a live one!” and he will
get a live one! If you ask him if he is content now and has
stopped playing with all the other toys, he will tell you he is and
that he has. Then he spends four married years having fun until
people start asking, “You have been married four years, do you
not have any children?” So then he thinks he is short of that toy
and gets interested in that toy.
Then there is a boy who wants to take a vow of
renunciation (diksha) when he turns twenty-two. “No, I want to
take diksha.” If you ask him, “Don’t you want a living doll?” he
will tell you, “No. I don’t like that kind of toy. I will search for
the toys of renunciation. Those that do not involve live dolls as
toys are my toys.”
Some men get married and have children and then their
karmic circumstances unfold in such a way that they begin
fighting with their wives. Their karmic account for renunciation
comes into effect. So what do they do? They make their wives
and children sign a letter of release which states that they are
pleased to release them so that they can pursue their quest for
liberation. They make their family cry but they will make them
sign such a letter. All these ascetics that have come here have
come by making their families cry. There are some who have not
married at all and some who did not even get a chance to get
married. Some do not have any food to eat. There are a few
who are not smart at studying but are at least smart enough to
understand that they do not like living in the worldly life because
they have to work, earn money to buy groceries. They have to
go to work everyday. They have to face all other kinds of
problems in the worldly life so they have figured it is better to
become a sadhu. At least by being a sadhu, the only problem
they will have to face is to walk around bare feet. People will
at least respect them. Who will question whether they know