impacts their lives. “People who are most influential, and who get things done are those who have mastered crucial conversations.” Sometimes you have to deal with coworkers that you aren’t too enthused about. Sometimes your conversations are hostile. If a higher person sees that you can’t work a conversation well, why should they move you higher? First, you find a shared meaning between the two of you. Successful dialogue results when everyone feels safe enough to “add their meaning to the shared pool” of meaning (p. 21). “Where bosses are smart, highly paid, confident, and outspoken (i.e. most of the world), people tend to hold back their opinions rather than risk angering someone in a position of power” (p. 22). Stick up for your opinion, but stay safe. That is one principle to remember in a conversation, don’t shy away and agree to whatever the person in power is saying. If you disagree, make a stand, but use evidence and reasoning to help you on your way. It is fight or flight. Here are a few principles to get you on your way (pp. 186-188): Start with heart- focus on what you really want. Make it safe- apologize when appropriate, contrast to fix misunderstandings. Master my Story- retrace my path to action, separate fact from story. Last, but not least: STATE- Share your facts, Tell your story. Ask for others’ paths. Talk tentatively. Encourage testing. There are more strategies than this, but these are a few of the important ones.
Using these strategies will help you, not only in your conversations at work, but at home. As well as understanding people. The most important thing to remember, is to stay on track. Also to remember the strategies to use. By reading this article you are helping yourself become successful in the business world. A suggestion that will really help you is to read the books talked about in this article. The Four Agreements and Crucial Conversations will guide you to the top of the power structure. But remember,
Crucial Conversations
You will also need to use crucial conversations to get higher in the power structure. A crucial conversation is a dialogue between two or more people where the emotions run high, the stakes are high, and/or the outcome greatly
Miguel Ruiz, D. (1997) The Four Agreements
Patterson, K. (2002). Crucial Conversations
"People who are most influential, and who get things done are those who have mastered crucial conversations."
“With great power, comes great responsibility.”
-Voltaire
Photo from BenPonder
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