A Simple Path from Alcohol Misery to Alcohol Mastery PDF EBook Seb Grant Quit Alcohol Formula | Page 30

With training and practice you can learn
to behave in a confident manner. Behaving
more confidently makes you more confident.
Teach yourself these skills in the same
way you teach yourself to operate a machine.
If you lack confidence, behave as if you are
confident. If a friend asks you to join them
for a drink, stop and think. Do you normally
say to yourself, “I don’t want to hurt their
feelings by refusing” or “It’s too much trouble
to refuse, I’ll just go”? This time, why not say,
“Thanks a lot. I’ll have a coffee with you but
I don’t want to drink”? Try it and see! You’ll
feel better for it. Take care not to go over the
top – assert yourself, but don’t lose your cool.
There are assertiveness training and anger
management groups available.
Bereavement
Bereavement leads to depressive feelings for
quite a long time after the death of a loved
one, sometimes for more than a year. This
is a dangerous time to start drinking. It may
mean that when you stop grieving you can’t
stop drinking. Find friends and counsellors to
help you through this difficult time and avoid
using alcohol as a pain-reliever. Contact the
nearest hospice or social work department
at your local hospital for help available to
bereaved people.
Relationship problems
Relationship problems often lead to drinking
in both men and women – or are used as an
excuse for continued drinking. Sometimes
cause and effect get lost in a jumble of
nagging, quarrelling and bad feelings.
Sometimes the drinking is the cause of the
problems. If you have relationship problems,
talk about them. It is astonishing how seldom
two people who live together sit down and
talk about the things that are dividing them.
Shouting and accusations take the place of
real communication. If you can’t talk coolly
about your problems, find a neutral person
you can talk to about things.
There are many people who can help, such as
a trained counsellor.
A detached view of your disagreements
may help you to sort things out. Many
relationships do end in break-up. If strife and
unpleasantness have not been part of the
splitting-up process, separation or divorce
can lead to feelings similar to grief for the
couple involved. The likelihood of a return
to drinking during such times can increase.
There are no easy answers about how to
cope with these feelings, although some
of the advice given about how to deal with
depression and anxiety will be useful.