At some point in October I suddenly realised that I was not doing the right thing , or the right thing in the right way , and that I had to figure out what was wrong if there was any chance of me getting this back on track . So I sent a letter to every creditor that came in which said amongst other things , ‘ Either make me bankrupt or let me go and ‘ try ’ and sort this out and I ’ ll come back to you with my proposals the week commencing 25th January 2010 .’
All but one said yes , and then issued the statutory demand which would lead to me being made bankrupt , which again was like a switch . I thought , this is bad but it is the right thing , as this person has now given you the excuse if you ‘ want ’ to say it ’ s not your fault . But of course it was my fault , I can blame the credit crunch , I can blame the person who issued and say that this was a bad mistake made by them . Whatever , it doesn ’ t change the fact that I brought about the situation in the first place by exposing my cash flow .
And more deeply than that , I brought about the situation with the lack mindset that I had . When Northern Rock collapsed I sat back and saw that the game was changing . I had been waiting to start a big re-finance for quite a while , whilst we were sorting out a business issue . That was resolved in October 08 and I instigated the refinance .
Then I first saw the possible effects of how the credit crunch could end up severely affecting us in February when the huge re-finance I was doing started to fail . It was not one deal but 60 small ones ; they were unconnected and falling out of bed . This was not through our own fault but just through lenders withdrawing from the market . All of these things happened and I think somewhere amongst this started my lack mentality , where I started to use the Law of Attraction to create a lack of money . The Law doesn ’ t care how it is used ; it has no emotions , it doesn ’ t care if you believe in it or not , we do not need to believe in gravity for it to be effective .
So in October I realised that something was very wrong with my state of mind but I could not figure out what . I decided that I needed to start doing the things again that I had done to keep or move my mind forward , which I had previously done in 2003 – 2007 . I decided to surround myself in personal development .
I knew the answer would be there , I just needed to figure out what it was . So as it happened I had kept my favourite personal development courses out of the packing boxes . I remember getting them out and thinking to myself , are you kidding yourself or what ? You don ’ t have time to look at this personal development stuff , you ’ ve got a real world of problems to deal with . Then a few weeks later they would hold the key to my solution . I wasn ’ t looking for them to have the answer , so much as for them to remind me where I kept the answer in