At some point in October I suddenly realised that I was not doing the right thing, or the right thing in the right way, and that I had to figure out what was wrong if there was any chance of me getting this back on track. So I sent a letter to every creditor that came in which said amongst other things,‘ Either make me bankrupt or let me go and‘ try’ and sort this out and I’ ll come back to you with my proposals the week commencing 25th January 2010.’
All but one said yes, and then issued the statutory demand which would lead to me being made bankrupt, which again was like a switch. I thought, this is bad but it is the right thing, as this person has now given you the excuse if you‘ want’ to say it’ s not your fault. But of course it was my fault, I can blame the credit crunch, I can blame the person who issued and say that this was a bad mistake made by them. Whatever, it doesn’ t change the fact that I brought about the situation in the first place by exposing my cash flow.
And more deeply than that, I brought about the situation with the lack mindset that I had. When Northern Rock collapsed I sat back and saw that the game was changing. I had been waiting to start a big re-finance for quite a while, whilst we were sorting out a business issue. That was resolved in October 08 and I instigated the refinance.
Then I first saw the possible effects of how the credit crunch could end up severely affecting us in February when the huge re-finance I was doing started to fail. It was not one deal but 60 small ones; they were unconnected and falling out of bed. This was not through our own fault but just through lenders withdrawing from the market. All of these things happened and I think somewhere amongst this started my lack mentality, where I started to use the Law of Attraction to create a lack of money. The Law doesn’ t care how it is used; it has no emotions, it doesn’ t care if you believe in it or not, we do not need to believe in gravity for it to be effective.
So in October I realised that something was very wrong with my state of mind but I could not figure out what. I decided that I needed to start doing the things again that I had done to keep or move my mind forward, which I had previously done in 2003 – 2007. I decided to surround myself in personal development.
I knew the answer would be there, I just needed to figure out what it was. So as it happened I had kept my favourite personal development courses out of the packing boxes. I remember getting them out and thinking to myself, are you kidding yourself or what? You don’ t have time to look at this personal development stuff, you’ ve got a real world of problems to deal with. Then a few weeks later they would hold the key to my solution. I wasn’ t looking for them to have the answer, so much as for them to remind me where I kept the answer in