So it takes a tremendous amount of willpower to consciously overcome a habit . That is , of course , unless you know the shortcut .
How a Habit Works
This is from Charles Duhigg , author of The Power of Habit . He gathered research on habits and how they affect the human mind ( and our behavior ) and offered some astounding conclusions and some really amazing tips for how to break and reprogram habits that are making life harder .
Here ’ s what I love about this .
It works with everything . Unless you are quite literally hardwired to your addiction ( which is actually quite rare ), you can overcome it with some simple habit loop reprogramming .
A habit is composed of three things :
1 . Cue 2 . Routine 3 . Reward
Basically , something will happen to cue the habit to start . Then you ’ ll go through your routine and receive the reward .
In this case , our habit is love . You ’ re addicted to it - to the sense of belonging that it brings . To the fact that , when you are with him , you have a sense of purpose and identity .
The cue is him . He triggers the whole thing . So whenever you think about him , see him or talk about him , the whole thing starts up .
The routine is the NEED . The fear that he ’ ll never come back . The NEED to contact him . The NEED to not be alone . The NEED to look at pictures or “ stumble ” upon him in public .
The reward used to be that feeling of togetherness . Now , it ’ s simple acknowledgement - the fact that he knows you exist and MIGHT be interested in getting back together .
We need to change ALL of this .
When it comes to routines and habits , the easiest way to make a change is to swap out the routine and leave the cue and reward alone .
In this case , that means getting rid of the need and replacing it with something else .
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