She started spending countless hours with friends and family instead , quite literally unable to be alone . She couldn ’ t have fun because she couldn ’ t begin to imagine herself capable of it .
So , we skipped straight to step four and to forced alone time . I asked her this question : Close your eyes and imagine you can be ANYWHERE in the world . Where would it be ?
She knew the answer shouldn ’ t be with her husband so she told me “ in Paris ”. Liz had never been to Paris . I ’ m not even sure she really wanted to go to Paris , but when she said it , a lightbulb sparked in her head .
She was going to Paris .
She left a week later and spent two weeks in the City of Lights , cut off from everyone she knew . She was truly alone for the first time in years and when she returned , I almost didn ’ t recognize her .
The woman who stepped out of that airport terminal was glowing with energy , vibrant in every sense of the word . Hair done , new clothes , standing straight and a giant grin on her face , she practically tackled me to the ground with a hug . She ’ d found herself in Paris and learned again how to be alone .
Finding Your Paris Moment
Not everyone will need to fly across the globe to find inner peace and solitude . Some will find it at home with a book . Others in a yoga studio . Others still on a bicycle on a mountain path .
But today you need to find your Paris moment . What one thing would allow you to escape the agony of your breakup right now ? Today ? Five minutes ago ?
What one action would allow you to instantly feel happier , even while being 100 % alone . Now do it .
This is nearly the hardest part of recovery from a breakup , especially if you are intent on getting him back . To some it feels like abandonment - like giving up on him completely .
But it ’ s the opposite .
No man wants to be left behind . The mere act of APPEARING to have moved on will stir something deep in him .
He may not even realize it yet but it ’ s there and he ’ s going to act soon .
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