She started spending countless hours with friends and family instead, quite literally unable to be alone. She couldn’ t have fun because she couldn’ t begin to imagine herself capable of it.
So, we skipped straight to step four and to forced alone time. I asked her this question: Close your eyes and imagine you can be ANYWHERE in the world. Where would it be?
She knew the answer shouldn’ t be with her husband so she told me“ in Paris”. Liz had never been to Paris. I’ m not even sure she really wanted to go to Paris, but when she said it, a lightbulb sparked in her head.
She was going to Paris.
She left a week later and spent two weeks in the City of Lights, cut off from everyone she knew. She was truly alone for the first time in years and when she returned, I almost didn’ t recognize her.
The woman who stepped out of that airport terminal was glowing with energy, vibrant in every sense of the word. Hair done, new clothes, standing straight and a giant grin on her face, she practically tackled me to the ground with a hug. She’ d found herself in Paris and learned again how to be alone.
Finding Your Paris Moment
Not everyone will need to fly across the globe to find inner peace and solitude. Some will find it at home with a book. Others in a yoga studio. Others still on a bicycle on a mountain path.
But today you need to find your Paris moment. What one thing would allow you to escape the agony of your breakup right now? Today? Five minutes ago?
What one action would allow you to instantly feel happier, even while being 100 % alone. Now do it.
This is nearly the hardest part of recovery from a breakup, especially if you are intent on getting him back. To some it feels like abandonment- like giving up on him completely.
But it’ s the opposite.
No man wants to be left behind. The mere act of APPEARING to have moved on will stir something deep in him.
He may not even realize it yet but it’ s there and he’ s going to act soon.
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