2nd Chance How To Win Back The Love Of Your EX Free Download Mirabelle Summers PDF | Page 15

Jonathan Haidt in The Happiness Hypothesis describes many factors that impact how
happy you are. Among them is the idea of positive and negative thinking.
In fact, most people see the world around them as inherently positive or inherently
negative, and this is genetic. Some people simply have a harder time being positive in
the face of adversity. Something happens and they see it as inherently bad.
But it’s natural. The human mind is hardwired to focus on negativity not because our
ancestors were brooding artists, but because it was a good survival technique.
If you made a mistake while hunting your dinner, it could mean death for you and the
people you are trying to feed. So you would dwell on that mistake...possibly for the rest
of your life.
In fact, recent studies have shown that, on average, the human mind will focus intensely
on negative reactions and memories above and beyond the positive. It can take as
many as 20 positive things to offset even one negative thing if you’re not consciously
focusing on them.
The solution?
To make a conscious decision to focus on the positive. There are three ways to do this:
1. Describe Life Affirmatively - Practice saying everything in the affirmative. Instead of
“I don’t like orange juice” say “Can I have grapefruit juice instead”. Don’t focus on the
negative reaction you have to OJ but to the positive reaction you have to grapefruit.
You can even take this one step further and actively affirm things, reminding yourself
every day how happy you are, how attractive you are, how excited you are to be
alive.
2. Observe and Record What You Are Grateful For - It’s easy to dwell on the bad
things in life and run a movie through your mind of everything that’s ever gone wrong,
but what about the good? The never ending urge to move forward and get more out
of life is built into us as human beings. Ask a room full of 100 people what they want
in life and 99 of them will describe things they don’t already have - money, cars,
success. If you are lucky, one person will have the foresight to realize they already
have what they want - health, family and friends. So, create a journal, jot down what
you already have that you are grateful for and what positive things happen to you
each day that you are happy about.
3. Seek Moments that Make You Happy - You know what makes you happy. You also
know what you can bring into your life to make you MORE happy. So, make a list of
those things and go after them! Go to movies with friends. Play a game you enjoy.
Read trashy mystery novels. Buy a new jacket. Whatever you know will make you
happy, go out of your way to engage in those actions.
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