5 STEPS TO BECOME A BEHAVIOR DETECTIVE
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Stop , take a deep breath , relax your shoulders , and repeat this mantra , “ My child is doing the best they can to communicate their needs and emotions to me . They need my help right now . We are on the same team .”
Identify if any of the following 6 common triggers for difficult behavior may be at play : Tiredness and hunger , a still developing brain , unmet psychological / relational needs , intense emotions , parental stress , or a parenting style that is harsh , punitive and threatening ( reference : Nicholson & Parker , Attached at the Heart , p175 )
Ask yourself , “ Is my parenting style hard , punitive , or threatening ?”
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Move to meet the underlying need , walk your child through the underlying emotion , and / or adjust the situation for the next time .
Review the situation at the end of the day and keep a log of significant behaviors and any of the triggers that may be at play . Over time , you will see a pattern developing that will empower you to understand what their behavior is about and so that you can provide the support that your child needs in order to grow and mature .
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