Zero to 1 Hundred January Issue | Page 31

Before, I met prince charming there were some things I was doing that were actually harming my ability to meet some really nice men. And once I changed these things, I got everything I wanted.

3 Reasons SOME Women Remain Single When They Otherwise Would Be In Healthy Relationships

1. Feelings – How do you feel about men? Be honest with yourself. Do you think all men are dogs, all they care about is one thing, or that they will always “be a man”? Well, if you are continuously thinking that way that is what you will get. Before, I met my prince charming that was the first thing I had to change.

I had observed many relationships, probably not the best ones and I had a general dislike towards men. No matter who you are you aren’t that good of an actress. If you have a general bad feeling about men, he will feel that, and he will get as far away from you as possible. Or worse, every man you meet will live up to that expectation because that is what you are thinking.

2. Expectations – What are your expectations for yourself? Do you believe that a good man will come into your life? I hear so many women complaining about how men don’t like professional women, women who attend church, fat women, skinny women, black women, white women, and so on. Well, if that’s what you believe that will become true for you. There are good men out there that like all different types of women. And the women who get these good men, are those women who believe that those good men WANT them.

3. Chasing – This has been a controversial issue for a long time. Should women pursue a man that they like? My stance on this has varied, but recently it has been a definitive NO. I do not believe women should pursue men.

Firstly, if you are chasing men, you put yourself in a mindset of lack, that there are a lack of good men out there that will ACTUALLY chase YOU. As a whole, we could create a world of better men, if we just stop spoiling men by chasing them. Does the lion get his food brought to him in the jungle?

Think about what would happen if he did. He would be lazy and lose his fight. And when women chase men and make it easy for them, he gets lazy and expects for you to make the first move all the time. And there is nothing like a lion when he is hunting. He will use all his strength and energy to get his target. And if you haven’t had that feeling yet, it has to be on your bucket list.

No, not being chased by a lion, being chased by a man who truly wants you. The feeling can not be replaced! Getting what you want from a man is more about using your feminine qualities than trying to MAKE him do what you want. You don’t do it with force, you do it with love. You can learn how to change how men look at you and therefore, attract more good men.

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18 Comments CommentsTrackbacks

robleehowReply ReplySeptember 28, 2010

What do you think?

lebogang maruapulaReply ReplySeptember 28, 2010

I definately agree on “expectations” part, I have observed that when I expect the highest of standards from my husband with regards to behaviour, attention, chores etc he actually plays the part I expect him to! I believe men (and women) are like flowers that will not flourish and bloom if they don’t receive water ,sunlight and love. Everyone wants to be appreciated for what they get right and men are not any different! Expect the best and you shall receive the best ladies! :)

robleehowReply ReplySeptember 28, 2010

Lebogang, You’re right on the money, I appreciate your comment.

EJaeReply ReplySeptember 28, 2010

Great article! As a woman that has chased men in the past, I feel it’s a NO. Men love the chase. If he’s truly interested he will make time to call and spend time. No excuses.

bellaReply ReplySeptember 28, 2010

yes i myself feel like all men are dogs,and there out to get one thing!i myself have been dog out real bad by some one who i thought really loved me,come to find out i put all my trust in this person and he did to me what he said he would never do.and that he wasnt like the rest! i never chased a man until i met him because i felt like he really loved me and that if i chase him he would come back and be with just me.truth be told i set myself up and got hurt real bad..my expections is to allow a man to find me and me not look for a man,because when you look you wont find mr right,you only get mr right now!!! and thats not something i want,i want some one who would love me despite my flaws,no one is perfect,but i believe there is a good man out there for me,but for now im staying single and i have my guard up very high….i just dont want to get hurt again

ofzionsdaughtersReply ReplySeptember 29, 2010

Great article. I used to “chase” men somewhat by asking them out first and managing the relationship. But after the last incident with a man I took back my role as the Queen. I wait for the men to pursue me and since I expect it, they do. Expectations are big. In fact expectations are symbolic of what a person actually believes about him/herself.

robleehowReply ReplySeptember 29, 2010

@ Ejae I think we all go through that stage. I think the moment I decided to not chase men was the moment everything changed for me. It was the moment it was ok to just be with myself. And very soon after that I met my prince charming!

robleehowReply ReplySeptember 29, 2010

@ Bella Yeah, sometimes we can get “tricked” by men and get hurt badly. But as tough as it may be we have to dust ourselves off and prepare ourselves for something better, which it sounds like you have done:) Also not to hold on to a guilty until proven innocent attitude, men can feel that also (that you have your heart closed because you don’t want to get hurt). I know it’s hard if you really trusted someone and they took advantage of that trust.

As hard as it might be, forgiveness is the answer to moving on. Having your guard up does protect you from the bad men but sometimes it doesn’t allow the GOOD ones to filter in either. I’m confident that you will be able to trust again and that the RIGHT man will appreciate all you have to give:)

Thank you so much for sharing. I appreciate your comment:):)

robleehowReply ReplySeptember 29, 2010

@ofzionsdaughters Thank You! I completely agree 100%. Expectations are crucial:)

Irma GomezReply ReplySeptember 30, 2010

I hope that I don’t stand alone, but I think that there are still some good men out there. I Ihave high standards for men. I like a smart man, neat looking, good manners. I have a strong personality,yet my heart & feelings can be hurt so easily. I always manage to get the kind of man I would like. All starts off really well, but then the y loose intrest in me. After reading your articles, Im guessing I know why. They pursue me, but then I pursue them. I know that Im doing it, but I don’t stop. He asked about my exboyfriend & I told him. Hard to admit it but I also broke the second rule, do not talk about sex. We have not gone out on a date, but we still communicate daily. Tells me that he misses me sooo much, continues to be so kind with his words, but after a month & half , we haven’t had a date. Is there a way to get back to him pursing me again with intrest?

Daisy BabyReply ReplySeptember 30, 2010

To answer this complicated question, there’s a simple answer: My ex. Now to give a logical explanation, it’s simple—there’s this attachment that I am still refusing to let go of. After experiencing completion, satisfaction, and self-fulfillment; no one having the fair chance of competing with my feeling of serenity. My ex’s smile… gave my heart a ‘glow’, his touch made my body tremble, while his voice lifted me from what you call realism. His intelligence made me beam, while his laughter provided happiness that would last for an eternity. His pupils were the first pair that I have ever looked directly into; his soul is the only soul my soul yearns to connect with relentlessly. During our spiritual experiences the room we are in disappears and our bodies interlock as the souls do on Avatar. This is the reason why I am STILL single. I’ve met my soul mate… just waiting patiently for him to realize that he has already met his.

robleehowReply ReplySeptember 30, 2010

@Irma If you’ve pursued him in the past, the best thing to do is to pull back a little bit, be less available. This doesn’t mean playing games, but if you are busy this means not stopping to answer the phone or going out of your way to catch his calls. If he is interested, he will pursue again, you just have to give him a chance. If you want more information on this, you should check out the recommendation above, Men Made Easy – it’s by no means a must, but it is very helpful resource & I believe in Kara Oh’s philosophy on men.

JessicaReply ReplyOctober 1, 2010

I agree on all the 3 points above, but most importantly, if you posses all 3 of those qualities, then just continue to work on yourself as a woman, improve yourself, become the best you while NOT looking for a man, and sooner than later, a good man will find you!

mcdon245Reply ReplyOctober 1, 2010

I agree! Before a woman can expect anything from anyone else they must have expectations for themselves and make sure they are living up to them. So many women make expectations for men that they cant even fulfill on their own (i’ve done this and i’m finally learning lol). I believe we as women need expectations so that we just don’t fall for anything but make sure they are fair:) We have to ask ourselves are we happy? If we are not happy in our own single lives don’t expect to be truly happy just because you have a mate. I definitely don’t think a woman should chase. A women should not have to pursue a man, and if a guy really is interested in you he will chase you. Would you really want to be dating someone you had to chase down?? As retarded as guys can be sometimes (sorry fellas) they do know what they want, and if the right one wants you he will pursue you! Stay positive and happy. Have faith and patience :-)

robleehowReply ReplyOctober 1, 2010

@Daisy WOWWWWWW! All I can say is, I want some of that! That is amazing that he made you feel this way. But more so, you want a guy that feels the same way about you. And waiting for him to realize how special you are, might harm you more than help the situation.

By waiting only for him, u adopt the mindset of lack, that he is the only man on earth that you can be with and make you feel this way, and u could be setting yourself up for disappointment. Because if he does choose you, you are putting too much power in his hands(and he might not be able to live up to your expectations), and if he doesn’t choose you, an extreme heartbreak.

Alternatively if you say that, “This guy made me feel awesome, and I liked that feeling. Maybe he’s the one out there for me or maybe there is another who is even more awesome than he is. Thank God for presenting me with a man like this so I know exactly what I want in a lifemate.” – You are moving towards an abundance mentality. And you will see a lot of positive happen with your situation.

So as tough as it may be, you might want to date other men, see what’s out there, your guy seeing that you are able to date other people takes a lot of weight and pressure off of his shoulders, and he might show a LOT more interest.

But believe this, whatever God has for you, he has for you, so if it is with this man that gave you that amazing feeling, it will happen in it’s own time:)

Thanks so much for the comment:)

robleehowReply ReplyOctober 4, 2010

@Jessica Thanks for your comment! I agree working on yourself is a very important part of attracting the right man.

@mcdon245 You are so right. They do know what they want. And will pursue you if they are interested. Thank you for your comment!

The hopeful romanticReply ReplyOctober 22, 2010

Completely agree! Chasing men is not the way forward. If a man wants to be with you – there is nothing. Absolutely nothing that will keep him away.

janReply ReplyFebruary 10, 2011

How do you change your feelings and expectations so you don’t end up with a terrible self fulfilling prophecy?

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TOP 3 REASONS WHY SOME WOMEN CAN'T GET THE MAN THEY WANT

Before, I met prince charming there were some things I was doing that were actually harming my ability to meet some really nice men. And once I changed these things, I got everything I wanted.

Feelings How do you feel about men? Be honest with yourself. Do you think all men are dogs, all they care about is one thing, or that they will always “be a man”? Well, if you are continuously thinking that way, that is what you will get. Before I met my prince charming that was the first thing I had to change.

one....

Expectations What

are your expectations for yourself?

Do you believe that a good man will

come into your life? I hear so many

women complaining about how men

don’t like professional women, women

who attend church, fat women, skinny women, black women, white women, and so on. Well, if that’s what you believe that will become true for you. There are good men out there that like all different types of women. And the women who get these good men, are those women who believe that those good men WANT them.

two....

Chasing This has been a controversial issue for a long time. Should women pursue a man that they like? My stance on this has varied, but recently it has been a definitive NO. I do not believe women should pursue men. First, if you are chasing men, you put yourself in a mindset of lack, that there are a lack of good men out there that will ACTUALLY chase YOU. As a whole, we could create a world of better men, if we just stop spoiling men by chasing them. Does the lion get his food brought to him in the jungle? Think about what would happen if he did. He would be lazy and lose his fight. And when women chase men and make it easy for them, he gets lazy and expects for you to make the first move all the time. There is nothing like a lion when he is hunting. He will use all his strength and energy to get his target and if you haven’t had that feeling yet, it has to be on your bucket list. No, not being chased by a lion, being chased by a man who truly wants you. The feeling can not be replaced! Getting what you want from a man is more about using your feminine qualities than trying to MAKE him do what you want. You don’t do it with force, you do it with love. You can learn how to change how Robyn Howard

men look at you and therefore, attract more good men.

three....

Finding this info helpful?

Sign up for my free advanced attraction techniques here.

Learn the #1 Thing a Man A Man Deeply Desires From "The One"

3 Things He Will ALWAYS Do If He's Interested In You

Learn the 3 Most Common Reasons Men DON'T Call Back

It's Free BUT Doors Are Closing Soon So Sign Up Now!

You Must Be 18 Or Older To Sign Up For This Mini Course)

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