without going there and experiencing it for themselves, but being able to share a piece of what it meant to me has allowed me to remember why it’s so important. When I truly speak from my heart I can see how my words have the ability to affect other people. I have learned so much from this experience so far, and by sharing even the smallest portion of that to those around me, I can see the difference that I have the ability to make. There is so much to say about this experience, and when I talk about it I feel like I can go on forever. No number of words could even begin to describe the feelings I felt in Peru, but keeping that feeling alive through my words and stories has been extremely important to me in our return home. I want to keep the spirit of the Amazon alive in myself as well as in others for as long as possible.
What seemed odd, what things triggered you once you returned back home?
When we got home, everything in my life felt so small. Being in the Amazon made me feel so complete, and after experiencing all that’s out there it has been very hard for me to come back to living in my small bubble. It’s difficult because although I am fighting my old routines, it’s almost as if I’m being forced back into them. I have two choices. I can either give into every day life, or I can fight against it. There is no easy option, and although I know it will be hard, I want to make a change. There are no longer any excuses to be made, and as we’ve learned, in order to live a fulfilled life you have to embrace the uncomfortable and sometimes that means living in the unknown. As I’ve been interacting with people throughout this week, I’ve struggled with finding meaning in my conversations. Nothing means as much as it used to, but only because everything means so much more now.
What will be different?
Now that I know how big the world is, no matter what I choose to do with it, that knowledge will always be there. I can decide to throw it all away, but that doesn’t make what I’ve gone through disappear. As you’ve said, a lot of the people you bring to the Amazon take a long time to realize the impact it has had on them, but even if it takes years, it’s still there. The difference is inevitable. The change is inevitable, however, what I choose to do with it, that part’s up to me.
What is it you miss? Why?
I miss the feeling. I know that seems very vague, but it’s the best way I can explain it. Everything we did there was filled with such joy and intent, and that’s what I miss. It’s a feeling that cannot be forced. I miss being able to forget about my life back home and simply live freely. I was so unaware yet at the same time so aware of all the right things.