S
T
Saddam Hussein
Going from bunker to bunker
Sally Gunnell
Not pretty, but runs a long way
Son-in-law
Not all you hoped for, but it’ll
have to do
Stevie Wonder
Never saw it
Tony Blair
Too much spin
Tony Blair
Sometimes left, sometimes
right, but mostly down the
middle
U
Umberto Eco
Impossible to read
V
Velcro
Ridiculously slow green
W
X
Y
Z
Whiff
To swing and miss the ball
completely
Xylophone
Sorry... we couldn’t think of
one for this!
Yasser Arafat
Ugly and in the sand
You’re not dancing but you’re
close enough to hear the DJ
Just short of the green
Zip
Spin on the ball
ONE FOR THE CLUBHOUSE
An avid golfer found himself in
Africa with time to play. He asked
at his hotel for the nearest golf
course, was put in a cab, and spent
two hours being driven deeper
and deeper into the jungle until he
arrived at a course.
He checked in with the pro and
asked to rent some equipment
and, since he’d never played the
course before, for a caddy. In a few
minutes, he was escorted to the first
tee, where his caddy was waiting
with a bagful of clubs under one
arm and a rifle under the other.
The golfer was taken aback, but
composed himself and hit a good
drive down the fairway of the
opening hole, a tough par four.
As they were walking to his ball, a
tiger sprang out of the rough and
charged the golfer.
Without missing a beat, the caddy
dropped the bag, aimed his rifle, and
shot the animal dead.
Again, the golfer had to compose
himself, taking a minute to catch
his breath. But he quickly recovered,
hit a good approach, and parred
the hole.
The same thing happened on the
second hole, a long, twisting par
five. But this time it was a lion that
bolted out of the jungle, charged the
golfer, and was dropped by a single
shot from the caddie’s rifle.
By now the golfer was visibly
shaken, but the caddy looked
unflappable - and obviously was a
good shot - so they played on.
The third hole was an easy par three
surrounded by water. The golfer hit
a good short iron, which landed
near the cup. As he was walking
onto the green, a crocodile slid out
of the water and began moving
toward him.
Unfazed, the golfer looked to his
caddy for help. But the caddie stood
motionless. The crocodile moved
closer, and the golfer, beginning
to get upset, again glanced at the
caddy, who didn’t move.
Finally, with the crocodile just inches
away, the golfer screamed, “Aren’t
you going to do something?”
The caddy looked at the scorecard
and said, “I’m sorry, sir, but you don’t
get a shot on this hole.”
9 | YOURCADDY MAG - ISSUE 04