According to Laksam police chief Zahir Banarje, "Ms. Shak was in
such a rush she just put on the first pegs she could get a hold of.
So if anyone sees a woman with a tennis racket for a left leg, or if
the person hobbling past you is leaning at approximately 50
degrees, or if you think you just saw a flamingo where there
should have been a human person, please contact the police
immediately."
The Pope was, of course, only one of many eminent authorities to pay Khan
a visit during his sequestration.
Among others was women's studies Professor Gail Dines, whom many
consider to be the world's most polarizing feminist.
When Dines entered Khan's room in the waning hours of Isolation Day 12,
she immediately demanded he strip off his huggies.
"I consented—happily, might I add. And with phenomenal haste," Khan
admitted.
"I thought she wanted to blow me."
But he was wrong. In the next moment Dines pulled out a knife and
attacked the boy in a violent attempt to saw off his genitals.
The infant responded by grabbing the closest thing within reach and clocking
Dines square in the temple. She collapsed immediately.
"When I looked at the thing I'd clocked her with, I was amazed," said Khan.
"It was the atheist book by Richard Dawkins.
"Would you believe that? The God Delusion saved me."
Khan had yet to read Delusion, so he spent the next day immersed in the
text. Incidentally, his next visitor was none other than the book's author.
P a g e | 116