" Needless to say, it ' s pandemonium inside. People are in tears. Others are calling for Lisa ' s head. Security immediately kicks us out. Not only did I not touch the Kaaba, I ' ll never get another chance; we ' ve all been eternally banned from entering the Holy City.
" For Lisa, it ' s no big deal. No remorse, no guilt, no shame, not even a tiny show of embarrassment for vomiting on Islam ' s most sacred shrine. No, on the disgraced ride back to the airport, you know what she says? ' I ' m hungry. Anyone in the mood for a Kaaba?'"
Khan ' s isolation commenced on November 4, 2013, when he said goodbye to the outside world so he could better contemplate which religious faith, if any, would best inform the knowledge he ' d amassed in his, up until then, seven days on earth.
From that point on, Khan did nothing but eat, think and breathe religious ideologies.
"[ Various leaders ] sent Mahmud their respective holy texts," explained Khan ' s father, Abdul, who, though Muslim, made explicitly clear that his own religious affiliation had zero influence on his son ' s decision.
Among the texts Khan perused during his sequestration were the Qur ' an, the Bible, the Torah, the Tripitakas, the Bhagavad Gita, and a Pentecostal audiobook spoken in tongues, foreworded by a juvenile correctional beatboxing team.
Additionally, from Isolation Days 10 to 20, representatives from each competing religion were flown to Bangladesh to try their luck in the Khan sweepstakes. Notable visitors included Pope Francis( Catholicism), the Dalai Lama( Buddhism), Richard Dawkins( Atheism), Larry David( Self-hating Judaism), and the entire football team from an upstate New York high school( Racism).
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