your-god-is-too-small May. 2016 | Página 11

While his newfound dedication and studies did lead him to become more familiar with the intricacies of his religion, it also led to some rather unexpected and quite unwelcome thoughts. For every question his studies answered, ten more popped up in their stead. The more he studied, the more questions he had, and the more confused he became. He started to question God, God’s motives, and judgments. Why would a benevolent God send people to hell simply because they picked the wrong religion? More Questions than Answers Such novel questions did not come without a price. Every time Armin found himself questioning God, he felt the cold, creeping fingers of guilt grip his heart. Led by his thirst for knowledge, he convinced himself that studying the nature of his God could never be a reprehensible act. Emboldened by his newfound sense of purpose, he set out to study and learn all he could about religions, all of the religions, including some dead religions. He was fueled with curiosity as to why these religions were so evil that all of their followers were damned to eternal hellfire and brimstone. What did they get wrong? What were their major errors? The more he studied, the more he learned, the more and more he began to see the fallacies with all of these religions, including his own. Through countless hours spent studying, researching and pondering, he began to see the greater possibility that religion could indeed have been a man-made concept. An Opening Mind We are all atheists here. We’re convinced, and rightfully so, that there is no god. Religion is a joke, and the concept of hell and heaven is a tool used to control the masses. However, to a dedicated Muslim, just barely scraping the surface of what we all know to be true, this was quite overwhelming. Having been trained to fear all of the thoughts he had swimming in his head, Armin found himself tortured. His sleep was punctured by nightmares of the gates of hell opening for him. His days were drowned in visions of devils and demons out to punish him, get him back for his insolence. He was aware that what he was thinking was not only wrong, but downright evil. He was aware that God could see into his thoughts. He could see the P a g e | 11