Xtraordinary Women Magazine June 2015 | Page 31

seem to be on. But how many of us actually take the time to stop and find out what we are actually needing, deep down, beyond the noise and the usual stories we repeat to ourselves incessantly? So, if you stop everything and sit in a quiet space and close your eyes and simply breathe and inquire… What is it that you are deeply longing for, right now? Try following that question with ‘What do I want?’ and sense the subtle but different energy that each question brings: Which question makes you feel more grounded in yourself? Which question brings about less fear? Which is more empowering to you? Listen carefully… Since training as a coach I have seen how valuable it is for all of us to become aware of our own deep needs. Clients are not always looking to directly discuss their needs, of course, but I have found that, whenever there is a dilemma, a ‘gap’ in thinking, a sadness or anger that comes masked as a straightforward blame game…there probably is a deep need waiting to be acknowledged. A need is a doorway. And through that door there is relief and clarity and a renewed sense of self. Other people’s thoughts and feelings (and our own) are so much less intimidating when we listen to what lies beneath, to what is needed at that moment. Orbiting around our own longing is a way of owning up to our lives, a way of accessing our own power. A way of finding peace and solidity in our everyday lives. A way of taking charge of ourselves. So, contrary to popular belief, there is power in needing, and being conscious of it! Realizing what lies at the core of our being has the power to shift our mental states from hopelessness, dependency and victimhood to autonomy. We practice hearing ourselves, and gradually we realize we have choice. We can then ignite our intrinsic motivation to start taking active steps to satisfy our needs. We all share the same deep needs, no matter what our circumstances or capacities are. Compassion for others and ourselves arises spontaneously when we realize the universality of our life experience. And ultimately what we long for, we already are, but that is for another day… Macarena Vergara www.macarenavergara.com Macarena is a professional Life Coach. She supports you to achieve your goals from a place of true connection to your self.