Writers Tricks of the Trade VOLUME 8, ISSUE 4 | Page 13

was stymied as the child cried in agony
and her condition deteriorated.
The doctor tried to remove the spines
with duct tape brought in by the hospital
maintenance man. Usually duct tape can
repair everything. It removed some
spines, but still not enough. Then the doc-
tor remembered the advertisement in the
magazine.
He told one of the nurses to go out to a
store and buy all the bikini wax she could
find. She did as instructed. The staff ap-
plied it over the child’s body and “ripped”
all the spines from her body. Yes it was
painful; very painful in fact, but it was al-
so successful and the child recovered.
After this latest escapade, I’m thinking
of changing my crime prevention tech-
nique, but I don’t want to be the one to try
and remove the cacti from the ground.
Maybe I could hire some of the guys to
remove them who chase my car around
the parking lot at Home Depot.
I’m wondering, would artificial cacti
be as effective as a crime prevention
technique? I’m not sure what the correct
answer is, so for the time being while I
wait for the hair on my left arm to grow
back I’ll continue to hold onto my jar of
bikini wax
Keith Bettinger is a retired Suffolk County (N.Y.) Police Officer. He’s been writing for law enforcement publica-
tions for more than 25 years and has received 18 awards for his articles, stories, poems, and books. He has a
Master’s Degree in Human Relations with a major in Clinical Counseling. During his career he received the de-
partment’s Bravery Medal, Silver Shield Award, Meritorious Police Service Award, Special Service Award, Profes-
sionalization Award, Department Recognition Award, five Headquarters commendations and six Precinct com-
mendations. He also was a field training officer and an instructor on Post Shooting Trauma and Critical Incidents.
W INTER 2019
P AGE 8
W RITERS ’ T RICKS OF THE T RADE