Writers Tricks of the Trade Issue 1 Volume 8 | Page 18

Y OU D ON ’ T S AY (C ONT ’ D )
This pig was knot dumb like his brothers.
His house was made of bricks and it was very strong. Sew like a good neighbor, I
wrapped on his door. He was a very impolite little porker. He shouted at me, “Get
lost, woof. I’m knot dumb like my brothers. Yew can’t come in, bye the hare on my
chinny chin chin.
Well, eye don’t take know for an answer easily, and I really wanted too bake
that cake. I pounded and pounded on his door, butt he didn’t answer again. It must
half bin the pollen in the heir or something, but I had two sneeze again. I huffed and
I puffed, than finally sneezed another grate sneeze. Unlike his brothers, his house
was still standing.
Sew I banged on the door again and again, figuring he wood answer eventually.
I guess he was afraid of me, butt I can’t imagine why, unless it was the neigh-
borhood gossips spreading the word that eye was dangerous. Pretty soon the police
came and arrested me four murdering to pigs. They made a lot of it up, yew know.
Anyway murder buy sneezing didn’t sound very dangerous, sew they billed up a sto-
ry of huffing and puffing and threats. I stand bye my story. I’m a poor innocent woof
who only wanted a cup of sugar and thee last pig is a lyre.
I shooed half gone two the store too by a cake. If I ever get out of here, the heck
with borrowing sugar.
Sincerely,
The Wolf
Almost every error in this story would make it past spell check, be-
cause they are real words…or is that reel words?
Beware of depending on spell check. Instead, write it right.
S PRING 2018
P AGE 10
W RITERS ’ T RICKS OF THE T RADE