The list went on.
We must commit ourselves to holding space but a shallow approach to lament only serves
for grief and its multiple stages - denial and to make the pivot to celebration seem equally
And I realized that this was probably the case isolation, anger and frustration, bargaining (or shallow. Like a TV with the contrast turned too
every week. pleading), depression, and acceptance. Every far down, an unwillingness to let the darkness
one of these things is in the scriptures, seen be dark makes the light less brilliant as well.
So, I’ve come to the place where, in life and through the eyes of many heroes of the faith. as a songwriter, I want my perspective to be They didn’t shy away from their grief in order In Genesis 18, when Sarah laughed at the
trauma-informed. I want my work to be trauma- to seem more together or more faithful. They promise of a child, and then pretended she
informed. I want to be sensitive, and to never laid themselves bare and held space for the hadn’t in order to appear less doubtful to the
assume that everyone is in the same place of truth of their suffering. And there is perhaps no Lord, the response from God was to tell her,
joyful exuberance just because a service is better place to hold that space for ourselves “Yes, you did laugh.” And God didn’t get on her
happening. In fact, I don’t even want to assume and others than in our songs. A song can give case about it, but still wanted her to reckon with
that a couple rousing songs are going to get someone permission to feel fully and meditate it. To truly inhabit that doubt and that laugh in
everyone to that same place. And that’s okay. deeply for five minutes. Where else are people that moment. And why? Because God would
There’s still room for them. Everyone doesn’t taking that time? For many, they aren’t taking rather see our honesty than our performed
need to feel the same by the end of a song or it at all. But we have the opportunity to help conformity. God would rather we say the right
a service. Fellowship is bigger than that. And, bring depth and language to their experience thing when we actually mean it.
while we don’t need to be somber all the time, of humanity. And that opportunity brings with we don’t need to always be “pep rally guy” it another opportunity… to bring depth and The journey needs to be a real one. Our
either. The fruit of the Spirit includes gentleness language to their experience of God. art
and peace, and some of us need to read
the room.
should
reflect
that
sort
of
honesty
and authenticity.
It’s typical to sing about “the valleys” of
life without giving them any real time to be So in this time of upheaval and loss and
In a church of any decent size, you can be explored. Without letting the minor chords confusion, make it your aim to write that sad
certain that, any given week, plenty of the ring. Without actual lament. Our avoidant song. Let it rest in a minor key. Don’t feel like it
people are hurting. And it’s not true that we mechanisms are on full display when this is the has to land in a “happy place” quickly. Or at all.
can only unite them in celebration. We can case - when, sure, we can mention the valleys Hope is not a reason to diminish grief—there
also unite them in their pain. And we can exist, but it’s clear we’re only trying to honor is a time for everything, and certainly a time
(and should) be honest enough to invite them the mountaintops, which we give more than a to mourn. And don’t be too quick to dismiss
into ours. passing mention. something because it’s awkward. Lament
is awkward. We can cause great pain in our
Joining people in their suffering is Christ-like. This imbalance is fundamentally dishonest to efforts to avoid that awkwardness, but we can
It validates their experience and says, “We our experience of life. bring healing when we embrace the truth of
see you. We’re with you. It’s okay to be going
the mess, inviting others to share in pain and
through what you’re going through.” But that Ignoring that fact makes people feel alone, connect in suffering. That’s why Jesus wept...
statement is sorely missing in the soundtrack to and like they have to pretend to be something to truly make room for lament.
many church services. What we don’t typically they are not in order to belong within a realize is this: If we make an expression of faith community.
brokenness feel inconvenient or shameful, then
our expressions of wholeness will feel reflexively We spend too much time posturing joy, and
trite. It’s all connected, so there has to be room too little expressing lament. It’s a classic
for frustration - even room for questioning and compulsion we see in Christian culture. But
wrestling with God. (God can take it.) We can’t actual joy is rooted in the realities of the human
expect true resonance when we refuse the experience, which includes a lot of suffering.
very soil from which it grows. We can’t expect And
miracles when we spend all of our time avoiding glossed over with platitudes and clichés the
the very context in which they occur. way it is among many Christians today. There
throughout
scripture,
suffering
isn’t
are already plenty of songs in our churches and
And that goes for our songs as well.
on our radios which pay lip service to lament,
May 2020
Kevin MacDougall
Worship leader, published and recorded songwriter,
musician and podcast producer.
[email protected]
A couple links from theologian N.T. Wright
delve into more than I had the space to explore
in this article. For more on the theology and
philosophy of lament, and why it’s crucial, see:
• time.com/5808495/coronavirus-christianity/
• ntwrightonline.org/five-things-to-know-
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