Worship Musician Magazine May 2021 | Page 10

[ WM ] I read an interesting account about your decision regarding the two life paths that God placed before you . It reminded me of a struggle that I once experienced involving going “ full time ” with the Lord and placing my gifts within His calling for my life . I had to rearrange my thinking that it ’ s about calling and not career . There ’ s a difference . I remember the Lord distinctly spoke to my heart at the time and said , “ If you do what I want you to do now , I won ’ t punish you later on in life ”. What can you tell us about the decision you had to make ?
[ Christine ] First off , it was very impactful because it came through a woman that I had never seen before . I thought she was very odd when I saw her , but it just turns out that she was a messenger from the Lord that had heard from the Holy Spirit . She came to bring me a message that I desperately needed . I was faced with a double-life of being a worship leader in the church and being very invested in a very sinful lifestyle . I was able to do both because church and college , this was during my college years , were very far from each other . I had reached a point of no return where I was headed for death , I was headed for suicide , I was headed for destruction because I was in deep depression . But nobody knew because I was a good actress , I guess . So , this lady came up to me one night when I was at the end of my rope and about to jump into a bunch of bad decisions . One of the things that God said to me was , “ I ’ m placing two paths before you - my path and your path . With my path and my way and my heart , if you pursue that you ’ re going to see all the promises fulfilled . Riches and glory will be yours , not just physical but spiritual and emotional , and you will find wholeness and become a beacon of light so people can find Me through your story and through your song .” And it was just so wonderful , it sounded amazing to me . And then there was the other way , “ You might have a great big heart . I know because I created it that way because you are meant to connect with people so that they can connect with me . But your heart is not well , it deceives you every day . You are following the path of your heart . Is that going to get you
Where the Spirit of the Lord Is
anywhere ? You may find that the fame and the fortune that you ’ re seeking ”, At that point I wanted to be a famous singer , I didn ’ t care if it was Christian or not , I just wanted to be on stage and have accolades . He said , “ You will reach that , you have the capacity to reach your goals and to make those dreams come true , and I will take care of you just because I promised your mother , who is a praying woman . But my heart just won ’ t go with you , you ’ re on your own .” And that was a breaking point . The manifest presence , the feel of approval of the Lord that we also call His presence , can be withheld . It has happened in the Bible before , and that ’ s what He was referring to . “ You won ’ t hear my voice , you won ’ t feel my presence , I ’ m going to just be silent . I will cover you in care so that your mother doesn ’ t watch you die .” That was it for me , when He said , “ My presence won ’ t go with you .” I felt on the inside of me like I could hear the voice of my soul screaming , “ No , no , no , this can ’ t happen ! I will most certainly die if I don ’ t have His presence .” I would most certainly be utterly destroyed , I had already made a bad job in arranging my life so far , I was a mess . So that day I completely surrendered , and I really did surrender it all . I said , “ Lord , take me life , or the pieces of it , take my heart , take my career , I don ’ t want to sing anymore if it is making me think things and do
Donde Está El Espíritu De Dios
things that are separating me from you . Clean slate , do whatever you want , start over , I only care about your presence .”
What ’ s amazing about that encounter with God is that the decisions you make when you have encounters with God is they continue to have the same impact when you go back to them in your mind and in your heart . I think back to that day and my heart beats for the same thing that it was beating for that very minute . It hasn ’ t stopped , it ’ s increased , and that ’ s perfect evidence that He was in control of that moment and continues to be in control of our life .
[ WM ] You have a current Spanish release , “ Donde Esta el Espiritu de Dios ” ( Where the Spirit of The Lord Is ) which you co-wrote with Chris Tomlin , Ben Fielding , Jason Ingram and Seth Mosely . What is the history of this song and what is the impact it is having upon the church ? I understand the genesis of it was initiated as part of a live and spontaneous worship moment .
[ Christine ] It was the most amazing story , and I smile because I ’ m really excited that we ’ re getting ready to release the English version . I ’ m really happy because I like my three languages to kind of grow together ( laughs ). So , I was on tour almost two years ago with Chris Tomlin , myself , Kim Walker-Smith was there , Tyrone Wells was there , Matt Barrett , and we became this big touring family . I was super pregnant with my youngest , with Kenzie , and we were worshipping , and I sung my song , and at the end there was just this moment of flow where I couldn ’ t really stop myself and they were kind enough to just keep going with me . And I ’ m talking about , “ Lord , won ’ t you come like you promised ? Just pour out your spirit , pour out your glory .” And there was a moment where I could feel His presence , He was moving among us . My hearts cry was , “ Where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom . Where the spirit of the Lord is there is peace . Where the spirit of the Lord is there is healing . I know the spirit of the Lord is living in me .” And that verse just spontaneously came out , and the moment the
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