asking for the impossible knows that you don’ t have a solution right this second, but you might be able to come up with one if you’ re given some space. Let’ s say there isn’ t time to wait, and you’ ve said you don’ t know. Then the answer needs to be no! The situation is to blame not you. This doesn’ t erode trust at all, but instead, builds it.
In this example, what if you then came up with a solution after some time had passed? Do you think the other person will be angry that you came up with a solution after the fact? No way! They are impressed by your brilliance! How did you come up with a solution to the impossible?
By asking for time, you are communicating. Communication is key to real collaboration with creative artists.
IF IT CAN’ T BE DONE, SAY NO
I like to be a team player. I don’ t like to let people down. Many times, something can’ t be done simply because you or your team don’ t have any more time... at least not a normal amount of time. I’ ve noticed that it is easy for me to sacrifice my time for an idea. I don’ t always consider my time to be a resource. Because I don’ t want to let my teammates down, I say yes to something instead of having dinner with my family or going to my daughter’ s dance recital or finishing another project that isn’ t as urgent, but is more important in the long term.
Don’ t be afraid to say no for reasons that seem squishy and selfish. Your time is valuable, and it matters. Your team needs you to speak up. If you don’ t, pretty soon you are going to be bitter for all the ideas that“ force” you to miss family time. Remember the grumpy tech person? It might be you. Don’ t let this happen in the name of being a team player. You are not helping your team by not speaking up for the things that you don’ t have capacity for.
IF IT CAN BE DONE, SAY YES
Many of us are great at trying to set boundaries around deadlines and how soon we need to have information. Most of this comes from being burned at the last minute. The problem is that once you put a deadline out there, you feel like you need to stick to it when people don’ t meet it.“ You didn’ t get me the graphics two weeks in advance, so I can’ t do them for you.”
If you have the capacity, why not help get it done? Deadlines are set up as a framework for the tasks we need to get done. The deadlines don’ t drive what we are about, they serve it. If my pastor comes to me at the last minute with something that he already knows has a deadline associated with it, why wouldn’ t I try to make that happen? There should already be an understanding that since the deadline is passed, you might not be able to get it done.
To make sure there is that understanding, consider mentioning it. Fight the urge to fold your arms and refuse to do something you have capacity for just because someone missed a deadline. If the service will be better with the addition, and you can do it, why wouldn’ t you?
Follow up questions: 1. Do deadlines drive you or are they more of a guide?
2. Do you jump to the idea that something is impossible before considering the options? Develop a statement that gives you more time to think.
3. What boundaries have you set up to protect family time?
Todd Elliott Todd is a writer, speaker, technical artist in the local church and the Founder & President of FILO, which stands for First In, Last Out. FILO was born out of his own need as a technical artist in the local church to be in community with other church tech people, to learn new ways of doing things and to be inspired that what he did mattered. The more FILO-type people he met, the more convinced he was that these are things we all need. That’ s why FILO exists: to equip and encourage technical artists in the local church to become the best version of ourselves. Formerly the Technical Arts Director at Willow Creek Community Church, he started FILO in 2015 to help other technical artists become more effective so that the local church can be more effective.
Learn more about FILO and the resources we have for you at FILO. ORG
Did this article hit home and you want more? Order Todd’ s book here.
Photo by Dan Page on Unsplash
June 2025 Subscribe for Free... 111