FIRST IN LAST OUT
IF YOU CAN DO IT, DO IT. IF YOU CAN’ T, DON’ T. | Todd Elliott
( An excerpt from I Love Jesus But I Hate Christmas by FILO Founder & President, Todd Elliott)
I don’ t know about you, but the closer rehearsal gets, the busier I tend to get. Cleaning up messes, correcting typos, doing that thing I forgot to do on Thursday. Typically, these are things on my list— things that I want to get done because I generally don’ t do things that are on other people’ s lists. What’ s not on my list is the band leader who shows up with an extra guitar, an extra vocalist and a song change. When that happens, it can be easy to blow a gasket.
How am I going to be ready for rehearsal if I don’ t get my stuff done?“ Don’ t you know that I have enough to do without you adding to my already big list?” When I find myself in this place, it is easy to freak out and just say“ No! I can’ t do these things.” Many times, I’ ve said no immediately and then after thinking about it for a while, I have found a way to make it happen. I would then do it even after I said it couldn’ t be done. I can remember one time when I said we couldn’ t add an extra tin whistle, and then I ended up providing a mic for it. My boss called me on the carpet for it.“ You can’ t say it’ s impossible and then turn around and make it happen.”
TRUST— DOWN AND TO THE LEFT
If you say one thing and then do another often enough, no one is going to believe you.
Nothing drives trust out the door faster than saying something can’ t be done, then proving the exact opposite. Trust is the key commodity for true collaboration to happen, and if you are doing things begrudgingly that you’ ve already said no to, you will lose trust. Once it is lost, it is very difficult to get back. From my perspective, I’ m usually pretty proud of myself for figuring out how to do the impossible, and I usually want others to be amazed by what I’ ve pulled off. Instead, the exact opposite is happening. Slowly over time, your ability to do the impossible after you’ ve already said it can’ t be done erodes trust.
GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO THINK
Instead of responding immediately with the negative, ask for some time to think about it. In the pressure of the live event, this can be pretty difficult, but by not answering right away and asking for a minute, you’ ve communicated what you really need is time to come up with options.
Sometimes there isn’ t time, but don’ t let that stop you from asking. That way the person
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