AN OPEN LETTER TO MY SON
My Dearest Son,
“DON’T TELL YOUR DAUGHTER NOT TO GO OUT. ASK YOUR SON TO BEHAVE AND RESPECT”
When I read these words on a campaign placard pictured on the Southall Black Sisters (SBS) website, I felt compelled to learn more about the group. As I read on, I started wondering whether mothers talk to their sons about domestic violence, and if not, why don’t they?
You have just turned 11 and I think it is time I told you the truth about your biological father. I broke up with him when you were a year and half old, as you already know, and I told you it was because he tried to abduct you on two occasions. Yes, that was true, but what I didn’t explain was that your father was also violent, both verbally and physically. When I was pregnant, I was afraid I would lose you. I called the police for the first time when he beat me blue, a week after having you. He grabbed you and barricaded himself in the bedroom threatening to take you away. The police had to take you off him. This happened a second time six months later, but this time he succeeded in taking you away on a cold night in just your baby blanket. Again, the police were able to bring you back to me, but only on your father’s condition that I would not press charges. The rest, as you know, is history.
Today my thoughts are on what would happen if every mother or parent educated their sons on the evils of domestic violence. Men, who are often the perpetrators, come from all backgrounds; rich, poor, professionals, layabouts, upper and working class, from sink estates as well as detached houses. Irrespective of colour, culture or creed, domestic abuse happens everywhere. Boys on the cusp of manhood like you, son, need to hear this now more than ever.
by Antoinette Scott
AN OPEN LETTER TO MY SON
12