beat up, slightly-too-small sneakers that
she was so happy to leave behind when
the new ones arrived. And when I asked
her how she was going to earn the mon-
ey to order new shoes, she realized that
so much of what she has and loves costs
money, and that needs to be earned by
hard work.
I knew that if I simply “came to the
rescue,” my daughter would grow up
with an entitled expectation. There has
been a lot of talk about entitled children
lately. These children grow up feeling
privileged because their parents believe
that they should be happy all the time
and never face consequences for their
actions. Marsha B. Sauls, Ph.D., a li-
censed psychologist, explains that these
children become belligerent, angry, lazy,
selfish, incapable of planning ahead, and
unable to understand how their behavior
and choices impact others.
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Instead, I am trying to raise respon-
sible children who understand that there
are consequences for their actions. This
means my children won’t always be
completely happy. They won’t automati-
cally get things just because they want
them. It’s not just that I want my kids
to be responsible for material things; re-
sponsibility impacts so many aspects of
their lives.
If they learn to take care of their
own toys and clothes now, then they will
respect other people and their stuff, too.
They will grasp the value of working
hard to be able to pay for things, which
will help them to manage their time and
money more wisely. They will also begin
to see the importance of helping people
who do not have nearly as much as they
do. Finally, they will feel empowered
and develop self-esteem because they
have control over their own behavior,
which can help them achieve their goals
and desires throughout life.
Back to those shoes… I am happy
to report that we found the sneakers in a
bin in the hallway at camp. But now my
son lost his sweatshirt…
Sandi Schwartz is a freelance writer/
blogger and mother of two. She has writ-
ten extensively about parenting, well-
ness, and environmental issues. You can
find her at www.happysciencemom.com
and www.sandischwartz.com.
September 2019 WNY Family 21