“
W
hat do you mean you
don’t know where your
new shoes are? You
haven’t even had them for a week!” I
screamed at my daughter as steam sim-
mered out of my ears and my face burnt
with rage.
Did I lose my temper in that mo-
ment? Yes. Did I feel badly about it?
Only partially. I was furious that my
daughter had no idea where her sneak-
ers were — the sneakers that I had or-
dered just a few days earlier. She went
to camp the previous day with them on,
but she now had no idea where they
were. It is just so frustrating to have
something you pay a decent amount
of money for vanish into thin air. On
top of that, I discovered that they were
missing two minutes before we needed
to walk out the door to get to camp in
the morning. Just a little bit stressful.
I screamed, I yelled, I threw a fit.
My behavior was definitely overblown
as a reaction to a five-year-old losing a
material item (I know, it’s just stuff!),
but I also know that if she does not
learn that this is a big deal, how will
she ever learn responsibility for her
belongings and the value of a dollar?
I joked that she would have to find a way
to earn the money to pay for new shoes.
The bewildered look I got in return meant
it was time to explore the best ways to
teach young children responsibility,
so that I do not have to experience that
stressful scene again.
Expectations
Are my expectations too high? Ac-
cording to child psychologist Cheryl
Gilbert Mac Leod, young children are
focused on so many things at once that
it is common for them to lose their gear.
We can expect children up to age six to
lose their belongings at times.
When they enter elementary school,
they can begin to take on more respon-
sibility and understand consequences for
their actions. Set some rules with them
about which items you will replace,
how many times you will replace them,
and any other sacrifices they will have
to make such as doing chores to “earn”
things or giving up certain privileges
like screen time.
Some kids may be naturally orga-
nized, but for the most part it is up to us
20 WNY Family September 2019
used in so many other situations down
the road.
Label everything. Although it is
a time investment up front, labeling
your children’s belongings provides
an insurance policy in case they do
forget or misplace something. Hope-
fully someone will find the lost item
and take it to the lost and found so that
you can retrieve it later. You can sim-
ply use a Sharpie marker or purchase
some name labels online.
How to Get Your
Kids to Stop Losing
Their Stuff Without
Losing Your Mind
— by Sandi Schwartz
to teach them how to keep track of their
things and to realize the importance of
responsibility. There are some simple,
practical solutions, but also some deep-
er, more life-long lessons that we can
teach our children about responsibility,
respect, and the value of a dollar.
Practical Solutions
Let’s start with some practical so-
lutions to help our children keep better
track of their belongings.
Set reminders based on their
schedule. Talk to your children about
their daily schedule and point out impor-
tant actions to take throughout the day,
such as putting their lunchbox back into
their backpack after their lunch period,
putting their clothes in their backpack
after a swim lesson, and keeping track
of their water bottle throughout the day.
Ask them to double check that they have
all their belongings before they leave
school or camp at the end of the day.
Forming these habits based on a con-
sistent routine can be very effective and
Make a checklist. Work with
your children to write a list of their
key belongings — such as a lunchbox,
sweatshirt, sunglasses, hat, homework
folder — that they need to make sure
they have before they leave the house
in the morning, and before they come
home at the end of the day. Review this
list over and over again with them un-
til it is ingrained in their memory. Be
sure to review the list together so that
you are also checking that they have
everything they need.
Prompt them with specific
questions. Yes, we parents are known
to nag, but it is necessary at times. Be
proactive by asking them questions
based on the checklist you created.
“Do you have your hat and sunglasses
for the day? Don’t forget to put them in
your backpack when you are not using
them.” Eventually, they will hear your
questions enough that they will come up
with them on their own.
Make it fun. Here’s a really clever
tip — try teaching your kids a catchy
song, cheer, or acronym to remember
their gear.
Lessons For A Lifetime
The simple act of my daughter los-
ing her new sneakers at camp prompted
some important lessons that she can
carry with her for a lifetime. Although I
did not handle the moment as calmly as
I should have, my daughter got the mes-
sage that she was irresponsible and her
actions had consequences.
First, she felt uneasy that I was
scolding her — she prefers a happy
mommy. Second, she needed to under-
stand that I was not going to immedi-
ately hop on Amazon and re-order those
same 45 dollar shoes just because she
loved them. That day she wore her old,