in question puts your child’s physical
or emotional safety at risk. When the
answer is yes, as with bullying, parents
should get involved. If the answer is no
— for example, your child doesn’t like
their assigned locker partner’s messy
habits or a new teacher’s grading poli-
cies — the situation calls for parental
support, rather than intervention. Help-
ing a frustrated or disappointed child de-
termine how to navigate a situation, then
stepping back as they implement the
plan, ultimately serves them better than
engineering a swift resolution yourself.
TEEN YEARS 13-18
Machine Wars
While so-called helicopter parents
hover and micromanage, snowplow par-
ents take protective parenting a step fur-
ther by actively removing obstacles to
their child’s success. Snowplow parents
often shift into high gear during the teen
years because the stakes are higher, says
Maidenberg. “Our parenting is directly
impacted by what’s going on in our
society culturally, politically, socially,
and economically,” she notes. “Today’s
children are facing more volatility with
higher youth suicide rates, the opioid
and vaping epidemic, and increasing
competition to get into college.” Well-
meaning parents who want to relieve
some of this pressure can easily slip into
snowplow parenting, Maidenberg says.
This starts with innocuous behav-
iors like becoming their child’s alarm
clock, repeatedly reminding them of
deadlines and assignments, and using
their own connections to land coveted
internships or jobs for their offspring.
Parents can support success without
driving a snowplow, though.
Establish a regular weekly check-in
with your teen to touch base on home-
work, test prep, and work responsibilities.
Give your teen the tools to stay organized,
like a wall calendar, digital reminder app,
or a planner. And when problems arise,
employ a simple phrase to keep the snow-
plow at bay. Instead of “What can I do,”
ask “How can I support you?”
Malia Jacobson is a nationally published
health journalist and author of “Ready,
Set, Sleep: 50 Ways to Help Your Child
Sleep So You Can Sleep Too.”
March 2020 WNY Family 11