c Apartments Available for Occupancy c
YOU’RE INVITED!
BABY SHOWER
Retirement Community
Patio Homes & Apartment Living
5945 Vinecroft Dr. • Clarence Center
www.vinecroft.org
Fundraiser Luncheon
Admission is a $10.00 donation
to Harvest House
Limited seating, please call for reservations.
Independent Living for
Seniors Over the Age of 62.
Call us for a tour...
716-741-7741
Best Dressed Kids
by Mary, LLC
Children’s Consignment Shop
651-9453
Summer Hours:
Mon–Fri 10am–6pm,
Thursday 10am–7pm,
Sat 10am–4pm
Summer Clearance Sale!
50% Off
Summer clothing, footwear, books, DVDs & select toys
Now through July 18th
4885 Broadway • Depew
(across from Rite Aid Drugs) 1 1/2 Blocks East of Transit
www.bestdressedkidsofwny.com
Holy
in Hi Ghost Gradua tes Excel
gh S c h o o
l and Beyond
Providing Quality
Christian Education
for over 175 years
Accredited PreSchool & Kindergarten - Gr. 8 Programs
Expanded Preschool Program For 3’s & 4’s
Full Day & 5 Days / Week Options
r
N ow Enr olli n g f o r the 20 1 9 - 2020 S c h ool Yea
HOLY GHOST LUTHERAN SCHOOL
6630 Luther St., Wheatfield, NY 14304
731-3030 • www.holyghostlcms.org
Now
Serving
Food
Slides
Games
Bounce
House Rentals
Available
Buy One, Get One
4401 Bryant & Stratton Way
Clarence (off Main St. near Transit)
www.LeapsNBounce.com
58 WNY Family July 2019
— by Diane C. Dierks, LMFT
to benefit Harvest House
Thursday, July 25th at noon
Entertainment by: First Ladies Quartet
Quality Children’s
Clothing at
Affordable Prices
SINGLE PARENTING
1/2 OFF
Regular Admission
Expires 8/31/19
Getting
Kids to
Talk
M
any single parents complain that they have difficulty
getting their children to talk to them about things that
matter, such as how they are feeling about their par-
ents’ divorce or whether or not they are affected by the changes in
the family.
If you ask the average child, “How are you doing?” the typical
answer will usually come in monosyllables — “Fine,” “Good,” or
“Okay.”
Then a parent usually follows up with a statement like “Well, I
just wanted to make sure you were okay with the divorce,” or “Let
me know if you ever need to talk.”
Unfortunately, if a child is feeling sad, angry or even glad, the
follow-up statements aren’t really helpful. Sometimes kids don’t
need to express their feelings as much as they need to be under-
stood. Here are a few tips to help your child open up to you about
their emotions:
1) Create a communication environment that is open and
non-judgemental.
Kids need to know that they are allowed to feel anything and
not be judged for it. They are allowed to express love for their other
parent, they are allowed to express anger about the situation, they
are allowed to be disagreeable, and they are allowed to keep their
feelings private.
If they
must think and
feel
ear like their
olli n g to f feel
Enr begin
l Y just
o r t that
N ow
he 2 they
0 S c h to oo distrust
0 1 they
9 - will
202 learn
parents in order to be accepted,
their own
internal feeling monitor, which prevents them from making impor-
tant decisions as they grow older.
Since trusting our own feelings is an important part of good
personal decision making, parents do well to support how their chil-
dren feel, while guiding them in how to manage their negative emo-
tions. After divorce, parents are particular vulnerable to trying to
control their child’s feelings because they are worried about losing
the love and support of their kids.
Keep in mind, though, that children do not exist for their par-
ents’ purposes. It is not your child’s job to make sure you feel okay.
In fact, that’s backwards. Instead, parents exist for their children
and to make sure children’s feelings are supported, not the other
way around.
2) Name your children’s feelings for them.
In order to check out your child’s emotions, tell him how you
think he is feeling and then watch for his reaction or response. Use
your good parental wisdom to imagine what your child might be
feeling given the circumstances.