We’ve turned into adrenaline
junkies. As a society, we’ve always re-
lied on emotional closeness, tenderness,
and love to trigger dopamine, a pleasure
chemical. We spent time together creat-
ing the reassuring feelings we need to
carry us through life.
But in today’s age of instant grati-
fication, we rely on quick hits of excite-
ment and adrenaline, which also trigger
dopamine, to get our emotional satis-
faction. As we become busier, we have
even less time to spare. Closeness and
tenderness take too long to manifest and
so adrenaline wins out time and time
again.
As parents, we’ve become preoc-
cupied. Parents no doubt love their kids,
but also live in the modern world of dis-
traction and busyness. Therefore, many
parents today are preoccupied, rushed,
and unintentionally “neglectful.” (This
is not neglect in the traditional sense;
here, “neglectful” refers to rushed feed-
ings, and spending less time bonding.)
Parents are adrenaline junkies, chasing
work and achievement, with little time
for emotional bonding.
When babies look up at their
parents and get a “busy signal,” they
internalize it for life. A preoccupied
parent can’t tune in to where a helpless
infant is emotionally. This signals to the
baby that they are on their own, and that
can be terrifying. It creates distrust and
insecurity that stays with them. They
never internalize the feeling it will be
okay. The insecurities planted at such a
young age are hard to address later in
life.
Kids are missing the “everything
will be okay” feeling that comes from
their parents’ closeness, bonding, and
reassurance which sets them up for suc-
cess, self-reliance, and confidence later
in life. With proper nurturing, people
can tap into the feeling that everything
will be okay. Without it, they’re in for
lifelong insecurity, distrust, and anxiety.
This becomes problematic when they
start hitting trauma later in life.
When children and teens don’t have
this feeling in their soul, they fall apart
at the first sign of trouble. When they
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July 2019 WNY Family 39