Raising Healthy, Happy Kids
in a World of Noise
kids are doing when they’re tethered to
technology. It’s about what they’re not
doing. Noise teaches us to un-focus. That’s
a problem because it’s the ability to focus on
what matters that empowers us to do deep
work, solve big problems, be better listen-
ers, nurture relationships — all the things
that create quality of life. We need to make
sure kids learn how to manage their atten-
tion and discern what they’re letting in.
Set reasonable limits on technology
and build quiet time into the day. Estab-
lish some rules around screen time and oth-
er forms of digital distraction. Maybe allow
them half an hour to use their devices after
homework is done each day. All other times,
set an expectation that your kids unplug.
Make sure they understand the value of hav-
ing quiet time to unwind and recharge, and
that they have an opportunity to spend time
reading, journaling, or relaxing at home.
Our kids are so connected that they’re missing out on everything that
matters. Author and entrepreneur Joe McCormack wants parents to stop
being helpless bystanders and start taking action. He shares insights to
help us help our kids discern what’s important and what’s just “noise.”
O
ur kids are constantly glued
to digital devices: playing
video games, posting on so-
cial media, watching YouTube — even do-
ing homework online. All this screen time
makes parents uneasy, and it should. Plenty
of evidence shows too much tech changes
kids’ brains, fuels depression and anxiety,
stunts the development of social skills, and
more. Yet despite all the handwringing, we
just don’t know what to do — so we shrug,
check our own smartphones, and let the sta-
tus quo flow on.
It’s this helpless bystander effect that
Joe McCormack wants to challenge. In fact,
he wants to launch a “just say no” move-
ment around the passive acceptance of what
he calls “noise” — not just in our kids’ lives
but in our own.
“We’ve all gotten acclimated to living
with endless digital disruptions and constant
connectedness,” says McCormack, author
of the new book NOISE: Living and Lead-
ing When Nobody Can Focus (Wiley, De-
cember 2019, ISBN: 978-1-119-55337-3,
$25.00). “We think it’s normal but it’s not.
All the distraction is hurting our quality of
life. It’s hurting our ability to focus, to think,
to work, to form strong relationships.”
And yes — to parent.
McCormack says we have a human
responsibility to manage the noise that sur-
rounds us, control our attention, and tune
in to the things that really matter. We also
20 WNY Family February 2020
have a parental responsibility to teach our
kids the same crucial life skills now so they
won’t have to “fix” their bad habits later.
The good news? Making the needed chang-
es is more doable than you think.
“There’s no single ‘silver bullet’ solu-
tion,” he says. “This is about committing
to a series of small, practical ‘old world’
changes that together make a big difference.
Yes, it will be a little tough at first just be-
cause you and your kids are going against
the grain. But as parents our goal is to raise
happy, healthy, successful kids. The chang-
es are worth the effort.”
Here are a few of his insights and tips
for parents and kids:
Yes, noise really is as bad as we
think. Checking devices all day long ad-
dicts everyone (kids and adults) through
a dopamine feedback loop. It’s especially
dangerous for children of all ages because
their brains are still being formed. Further,
teens also have what neurologists call “a
hyperactive risk-reward system” that makes
them susceptible to addiction. Being teth-
ered to technology isolates kids, puts them
at risk for cyberbullying, divides their at-
tention spans, and can impact their mental
health. Between 2010 and 2016, the number
of adolescents who experienced at least one
major depressive episode leapt by 60 per-
cent, according to the U.S. Department of
Health & Human Services (HHS).
The problem isn’t just about what
Make a “keep phones out of direct
reach” rule. It’s not enough to teach kids
to resist technology. Reaching for the phone
has become a habit (as most adults well
know) and that’s no coincidence. Phones
and apps are designed to be addictive. So
don’t let kids keep phones by their bed, or
give them unlimited access to play games
or surf social media. You might make a rule
they have to keep phones at a central point
in the house (like a charging station in the
kitchen).
Keep them busy (but not too busy).
When kids have a lot to do, they’ll simply
have less time to spend on devices. En-
courage them to play sports or participate
in other afterschool activities. Also make
sure they have regularly scheduled respon-
sibilities at home, like walking the dog,
vacuuming, emptying the dishwasher, and
so forth. Older kids might even get a part-
time job. When kids know they have to go
to band practice, get in volunteer hours, and
do chores before they get to sit down at the
computer, they’ll get in the habit of priori-
tizing life over technology.
“Don’t keep them running every sec-
ond of the day, though,” cautions McCor-
mack. “Kids need down time like everyone
else. Perhaps even more important, they
need to learn how to navigate a noisy world
themselves — they won’t always have a
parent setting up activities for them.”
Instill the skills kids need to say no to
noise. In the age of FOMO (fear of missing
out), it’s tempting to give in to noise in all
its forms. That’s why both parents and kids
alike should practice saying no to digital
distraction and information overload. Mas-
ter these habits so you can tune out noise,