Windsor Parent - May/June 2015 Issue | Page 14
Untying the knot?
Kaysandra Curtis
Your children should be your number
one concern, says divorce, relationship,
and leadership coach Kaysandra Curtis
Kaysandra Curtis started Curtis Coaching and Mediation in 2012, bringing
extensive divorce experience with her after one divorce.
“One is enough,” says Kay, author of the forthcoming book How to Get a
Divorce Without All the Drama – The 7 Step Divorce Recovery Process.
Kay believes that you cannot force someone to love you, but with the discovery that the love is gone in the relationship couples will have to be able to let go
with out creating and adversarial divorce, or all of their savings and their children’s inheritance will go towards paying legal fees.
When you create conflict that takes many legal hours to be resolved you are
generating income for your lawyer, and taking away money your hard earned
saving from your family.
While you may eventually win, ask yourself what is the cost of winning. For
example if you are fighting for $20,000 more and pay $15,000 to get it, then
your gain is only $5,000.
“So my advice to you is to come to your divorce with honesty, integrity, and
clarity on what would be best for your family moving forward regardless of the
reason for the divorce,” says Kay. “And be smart in the fight.”
Your children should be your number one concern. If you listen to family
and friends about getting even, you will be filled with resentment and will have
difficulty moving forward.
Get the help you need it might be a coach or therapist to help you with the
unresolved emotional barrier that will prevent you from healing.
If you are able to unpack the emotional baggage of the shock, anger and
resentment of a divorce which is primarily what causes the majority of conflict
in the uncoupling, you will be able to continue to interact as a family and enjoy
watching your children grow up.
While Kay’s primary focus is in divorce coaching, her skill set is balanced by
a successful work experience as an intensive care nurse at Hôtel–Dieu Hospital
for over 12 years and as a mediator after earning her Dispute Resolution certification from Windsor/York University in 2001.
In response to her clients’ needs to get through the emotional impact of their
divorce and the fear of how they are going to redirect their lives, Kay developed
the Divorce Recovery Factor Assessment—DR Factor—which all coaching clients must take before she coaches them.
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14 Windsor Parent - May/June 2015
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