by ANONYMOUS
Eureka! I found it. A lifetime on this planet, scrambling and searching, and I finally found it with years to spare.
I
’ m talking about that nebulous, elusive, much sought after elixir called … Happiness. That’ s right. I’ ve achieved enlightenment. Perpetual joy. A state of grace. And it only took about, what … 2-3 decades? That’ s ok … the wait was worth it. All those years of pride-swallowing, crushing poverty have made this moment all the more sweeter. I’ m free. And what a blissful place to be. Now I’ m going to help you achieve it, my fellow starry-eyed wannabe scribe. I’ m going say the two words that will set you free: Liberate Yourself. That’ s right … liberate yourself. How? Easy. Just stop giving a shit what other people think about you and your work. That’ s how you become truly free. And how do you get there? Well, you’ re halfway there already. You’ re a struggling writer, right? Starving artist? Yip, well on your way … to creative freedom and true liberation. Chances are, the only person on this continent more impoverished, hopeful and deluded than you right now is your average Ethiopian wannabe Astronaut. In fact, in my experience as a struggling( white) South African filmmaker, I think it would’ ve been more lucrative to aspire to being the first Ethiopian Astronaut to fly to Mars in rocket ship made entirely out of Kentucky snack-box cartons, rather than pursue a career in the SA film industry.
( Btw, anybody out there seen that banned SA film that’ s causing all the hullabaloo? What’ s the story, was she of age, or wasn’ t she? If she was, then … what’ s the problem? Not like this sort of thing hasn’ t been done before? If she isn’ t, then … wtf dude? This isn’ t the good ol’ days of CALIGULA and DEEP THROAT, you know. What were you trying to do, a less subtle approach to LOLITA meets SILENCE OF THE LAMBS?)
Next step to liberation … get your wife, girlfriend, sister, grandmother or nanny to bake you a niiice, big, crusty humble pie. Then cut yourself a generous slice of that pie and wolf it down in one gulp. If you still have room, eat the whole fkn pie. That’ s right. Humble yourself. It’ ll take the edge off all the shit sandwiches you are going to be eating from now on, and it will help you through all those years of condescending comments, advice and lowered eyes from family and friends every time you talk about your … uhm …“ career”.
by ANONYMOUS
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