The Pleasure Paradox and the pursuit of happiness 194 Happiness follows from gradually realizing a worthy goal. For many people the only thing that represents a‘ worthy goal’ or a challenge, the default position in their life, is their job. While there is nothing wrong with this, often it is less than ideal because it is a goal watered down by the fact that it is shared with others who have different agendas. The best solution is to have two or three goals, of which work may be one, which we pursue in parallel. Ideally, we should always have a short-term goal( achievable in a few weeks), a medium-term goal( a few months) and a long-term goal( a few years). One of the problems for stay-at-home full-time parents is that it is very difficult to‘ gradually realize’ the goal of parenting as there is little feedback along the way. The feedback you get from children( and partners) is often negative and it can be a long time between compliments. Deep down, all of us who are parents recognize that we won’ t know if we have done a good job until we see our children ensconced in a rewarding career and, even more importantly, engaged in a loving relationship. And it can take around 30 years before the results begin to come in – hardly a gradual realization! Worthy goals don’ t have to equate to bringing about world peace. They can be anything from growing a prize rose, through helping out a local charity, to undertaking a tertiary qualification. But the bigger the goal – which often means it will take longer – provided it is meaningful to you, the happier it will make you along the way( putting success stress and failure fear to one side for the moment). One of the most‘ worthy goals’ in life is having better relationships. Equally, one of the most common causes of unhappiness is poor relationships with partners, close friends, children and parents. In the simplest of terms, I see, through my work as a relationship therapist, that