Obesity-proofing our children 179 The‘ After Rule’ A simple rule to introduce is that there is no fattening food just before or after lunch or dinner if eating the healthy food in these meals does not happen. In its simplest form this looks like,‘ No dessert unless you eat all( or most) of your vegetables.’ If this does not work then it is simply a matter of making the desserts more and more irresistible. Basically, pick your child’ s favorite foods and make them dessert. This could be anything from potato crisps to ice-cream in their favorite flavor. This is a variation on the carrot and the stick approach – sometimes carrots are simply not tasty enough. When you institute these changes, first discuss them with your children – preferably at a family meeting with all members present. It is crucial to debate this with your partner before this meeting so that you have their support. This is critical for any discipline with children. If the parents are not united the outcome is doomed from the outset as the children simply divide and conquer. In fact, most of what I am discussing here applies to most aspects of childhood misbehavior and discipline. At the family meeting explain the new changes and why they are being introduced. Ask for input from your children no matter what their age. Make sure the younger ones get a hearing. Try to get their support through understanding the reasons behind the change. But in the end, remember you’ re the parent they are the children and while you are interested in their input, you have final say. It is a benevolent dictatorship, not a democracy! A question that I am often asked is,‘ Should I make my children eat everything on their plate like I was made to?’ This is tricky issue. One of the critical skills many overweight people have lost, as we have discussed, is mindfulness of their hunger. Eating at set times and eating beyond feeling full are key contributors. In particular. knowing when we are full and our hunger is sated is one of the easiest ways to stop ourselves from over-eating.