Obesity-proofing our children 178 is repeated or abandoned. Parents who fail to appreciate this simple fact find parenting very frustrating and do a lot of angry yelling. For children who do not feel they have enough contact with their parents, being yelled at can be a‘ benefit’ in the equation. A lot of parents find it very difficult to get their head around the fact that their children could experience being yelled at as something to put in the‘ plus’ column of their accounting evaluation rather than in the‘ minus’ column. The reality is that negative attention is rated more highly by children than no attention. To avoid this problem we need to make sure we are having‘ special time’ with our children. I shall return to this later in this chapter. While children need explanations from parents as to why certain behaviors are unreasonable or not allowed, ultimately there need to be some material consequences. The police force worked out some time back that simply asking people to drive more slowly or not drink and drive was nowhere near as effective as booking them and ultimately taking their licenses away. One of the big benefits of utilizing material consequences much earlier is that parents don’ t need to get all worked up and angry with their children. A good cop is more effective if they issue you with a ticket very politely but firmly. You are left focusing on what you did wrong. If they are rude and threatening you will leave the interaction feeling badly done by and justified in your actions. So it is when we yell at our children. Children, not surprisingly, are no more compliant with angry requests than adults. Just like the grown-up versions they need material consequences to get their attention and to get them to revisit their books on a particular behavior. So, if your child’ s unwanted behavior is persisting then you need to look at what might be maintaining their behavior.