Sabotage-proofing through setbacks 163 While I was lamenting my wasted months of weight loss and beating myself up, a strange thing started to happen. Over the days then weeks following my return, my weight started to come down again. Having eaten out so much while we were away, we ate at home. When I was out I was able to order food with a reasonable assurance that I knew what I was going to be served. While my activity level went down as I returned to my office, proportionately my intake went down further. I came to realize that the nine months of developing my new eating lifestyle had not been wasted at all! My eating lifestyle had become a habit and as I slid back into it gradually the weight started to come down again. From this experience I learned a critical lesson; don’ t let setbacks trick you into giving up. As with any project in life, setbacks do not mean you have failed – you have not failed until you declare it a failure. Only when you decide that you are going to give up, can it be said that you have failed. This is what I mean when I say that failure has to be created. We have to take responsibility for making it real. Until this point it is just‘ experience’ – another learning opportunity. The only failure that exists is the failure brought into existence the moment we stop trying. After every setback you must go over it and look at two things. First, what were the factors that made you vulnerable? Second, what strategy can you put in place to avoid it happening again? Here are some strategies from my work with clients in response to common situations of vulnerability. Note that these strategies are ones that worked for them and may not be of relevance to you. They are included here to give you an idea of the process.