Self-sabotage 148 same way, you, as your own therapist, need to watch yourself very, very closely. As you take on these three tasks watch yourself like a hawk. One of the first things that people do is say to themselves something like,‘ I don’ t need to go through those steps. I’ ll be fine.’ At one level this sounds as if they see themselves as some sort of special case that is superior to everyone else. However what seems to be a narcissistic response is more often a simple sabotage maneuver. To be honest, it is the big problem with all self-help books, including this one. If you were sitting in front of me and said that you didn’ t feel you needed to go through these steps, I would confront the issue. Typically I would say something like,‘ Okay explain to me exactly why you haven’ t cleared out your pantry yet?’ Or,‘ Why doesn’ t this strategy apply to you?’ Or,‘ Why haven’ t you invited your partner in to this session as we discussed last time I saw you.’ What makes people really uncomfortable is that I don’ t ask these questions in an attacking way – that would allow them to attack back, become defensive and deflect the issue or storm out of my office. No it is worse than that – when I ask these questions I do it in a non-judgmental way because I genuinely want to know what kind of mental gymnastics their brain is up to – and that is much more threatening. Unlike me, this book is very accommodating. I can promise you it won’ t confront you, and if you choose to do nothing that it suggests, it will not even notice, let alone bother you about it! Without me, or another psychotherapist looking over your shoulder, you need to become mindful of how you react as you try to execute your weight-loss plan – or any other plan for that matter. Basically this involves applying the mindfulness principles that we discussed in Chapter 8 when we were looking at savoring food. How we approach, or avoid, the tasks that are the steps on the journey toward achieving our goal can be quite revealing.