Weekly Elightenment 1 | Page 2

The esteemed Sir Isaac Newton has come up with what seems like an extremist crack-pot theory, one that apparently came to him when an apple fell on his head. Sir Isaac Newton has theorized that gravity, the thing that anchors us down in our everyday lives and tasks, is in fact affecting not only us, but is affects the universe as well. An educated gentleman could infer that though this assertion Isaac Newton is in fact trying to bring heaven down to the level of the common man.

This reporter won't take this accusation sitting down. Not only is he assuming that the lights in the sky are not in fact heavenly bodies and entities watching over us to make sure that the will of God is done on Earth but also that they are affected by mortal things such as gravity.

One might view his assertions as an attack on religion and as a way to demean God and the heavens themselves.

An assertion that one might consider as blasphemy.

Who would have thought that the esteemed gentleman who brought the world the ingenious laws of motion that revolutionized the way we view our daily lives and the revolutionary reflecting telescope that allows us to view what the heavens themselves are made of would make such an atrocious accusation.

The people should be outraged about this. What does this say about the church simply allowing this to go unchecked? I’ll tell you what it says, it says that they are losing power. Losing as much as to make them not act on a direct and public act against the heavens.

Newton's Theory