He is pure.
The white line contrasted and blessed his golden tan skin
he is good.
He loved me and I loved him
But when I held his hand I stained his skin
the black speck began to manifest and clashed with the purity of his white line.
My white line was tarnished years ago
Slowly he was slipping away from the beauty of what he once was.
I was to blame and everyone knew
that he was going down the twisted path because of me
and because of that
I pushed him away.
Any quality that was seen as redeemable was destroyed
I was going to be the villain so that he could live to be his own savior.
At first he was angry
but I knew he began to understand
when he woke up to find that black speck become a large splotch on his hand.
The little white that would develop on my hand when he held it was
eaten by that black ink when he let go.
There was no hope
I am hopeless.
Hot angry tears
scratchy throats
pulsing veins
hollowed eyes
bloodied knuckles
He started to hate me
The jealousy, the insecurities, the lies
all of it was pressed against his chest.
I was driven to suffocate him.
I wanted him to be like me, so that I wouldn't
be so lonely.
However the little good that was left in me forbade that to happen.
Because one day I saw him with her
her smile soft, her eyes clear of deceit
When he laughed he looked so care free all worries rushing away
the black ink quickly disappearing and it hit me.
We were never meant to be.
I wasn't made for you, no matter how many times you claimed that we were perfect
you deserved love without harm
love without fear
love without faulty sacrifice.
I can't give that to you.
So it had to be done.
I let you watch, I let you see
the chaos that is me.
The spiraling black ink
curving and contouring the blank canvas that is my flesh
up my arm, across my chest.
I watched him from across the room
When our eyes met he turned to walk to me
I raised my hand
his eyes confused before he started running.
There was no point they came after him
I heard his screams for me not to leave
His screams still haunt me
but I know he's better off without me
my love wasn't enough
because
I'll never be enough.