“Once, after getting drunk at a
friend’s party, I came home, tore
off my dress, and threw it into
the trash outside. I have no idea
why. It was gone the next morning
when I went to look for it. Worst
thing I’ve ever done while drunk.”—
LAUREN D.
“About a month ago, I got a barcode
tattoo. I thought it would be funny
to ask the cashier at the store to
scan it. Apparently, I am a $5.98 box
of condoms. I hate my tattoo artist.”
—DIANA T.
“I work in
customer service,
and it’s my job to
make make
follow-up calls to
customers. I’m
supposed to say ‘I’m
calling to ensure
your complete
satisfaction.’ I’ve
accidentally said
to a customer ‘How
may I pleasure
you?’ and ‘I’m
calling to
completely satisfy
you.’”—LYNDEE K.
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