Keeping Our Children Safe
Dr. Wright:
Everybody needs to understand that crying
is normal. It’s not a pleasant thing to hear for anybody for
any length of time, but it’s the only way a child is able to
communicate with us that she is hot or cold or hungry. Crying
does not mean the child is angry at or upset with someone. If
you study the science of crying, the incidence of crying goes
up in the first 2-3 months and then starts tapering off. About
95 percent of crying is soothable – you change the diaper,
you feed the baby. There’s a small percentage that is not,
and those are often the times when people get frustrated. So
what can you do? It is OK to get frustrated, but the solution
is not shaking or abusing the baby in any way. Parents and
caregivers should develop a game plan: If X happens, I’m
going to do Y. If the baby cries and I can’t settle her down
and I get frustrated, then I’m going to put the baby down
in a safe place, step outside to get a breath of fresh air and
count to 100. Or I’m going to lay the baby in a safe place in
the middle of the room, walk into the kitchen and get a drink
of water. Or I’m going to call a family member or friend on
the phone – something to diffuse the situation.
DAILY CRYING AT DIFFERENT AGES
300
MINUTES CRYING PER DAY
How should parents and other caregivers
handle long bouts of crying in babies?
The 3 hours
per day line
240
180
120
60
0
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17
AGE IN WEEKS
A quiet baby
Colicky for 6-8 weeks
Average crying
Colicky for 13 weeks
Why is potty training another common period for abuse?
Dr. Wright:
People often have unrealistic expectations
surrounding potty training. The body must have certain
neurological development to be able to control bowels and
bladder. When a child turns 2 or 3, there is not a switch that is
suddenly turned on. Are there 2-year-olds who can have bladder
and bowel control? Yes. But to have that expectation of all children
is unrealistic in terms of normal development. Spanking a child,
punishing a child or berating a child is not going to help him be
able to gain that bladder or bowel control. People are better off
taking the child to the doctor to make sure there aren’t some
medical reasons preventing the child from gaining that control.
What should I do if I suspect child abuse?
Dr. Wright:
Legally, anyone in Kentucky who suspects child
abuse is required to report it to authorities. That can be difficult.
What if you suspect your spouse or a grandparent? Your married
son who has a child? Your neighbor? The most common question
people ask is “What if I’m wrong?” However, the more important
question to be asking is “What if I don’t report this and I’m right?”
Keep in mind what’s best for the child. Children are the most
vulnerable citizens of our society and depend on us to keep them
safe. We need to remember that if we don’t report it, there could
be lifelong implications.
What should parents teach older children about abuse?
Dr. Wright:
Parents should make sure their child feels
comfortable discussing any issue with them. That requires longterm interaction and development in the relationship. Send a
message to your children from a very early age: that they can
trust you with any concern, that if they are uncomfortable about
anything at all that happens to bring that to you, that they should
not listen to friends who ask them to hold secrets from their
parents. Many abusers, particularly sexual abusers, will convince
children not to tell their parents about the abuse. Parents need to
define what constitutes inappropriate touching and discussions.
To contact the Partnership to Eliminate Child Abuse, call 502-629-8092 or email [email protected].
Visit the partnership online at www.pecakyin.org.
4
Vital Signs Volume 8 • Issue 1