Village Voice October/November 2013 | Page 25

HIPS, KNEES AND BUMPSADAISY! Belle tackles the ‘big A’ First of all, I’d like to apologise to my mother, my ex-sister-in-law and numerous friends from Old Alresford and Bighton, for never realising quite how much they suffered when they were in the throes of arthritis. They were truly stoic. The most I ever heard from them was “I have to go in for a hip/knee replacement.” Not “I can’t move for the pain!” or “Help me up please” or even “Owww!” – three cries that, this week alone, my Personal Handyman has heard all too frequently. Nobody tells you how quickly arthritis comes on. I don’t mean the silent creeping process which you don’t feel until one day your hip threatens to give way completely, and you lurch against a shop counter so that the assistant talks to you in a kindly way that makes you feel as if you’re 90. I’m talking about what happens after that moment, when in the space of a couple of weeks you go from walking with a spring in your step to tossing and turning in bed because there are few ways, other than a soak in the bath, to lessen the pain. (Pillow between the legs? Didn’t work! Paracetamol? Maybe in a triple dose!) I also never realised how prevalent arthritis is. In the week I went for my x-ray, I heard of two other people I know who have also been referred to the hospital for hip x-rays this week. What is this, a virus? Incidentally, the hospital laughingly called it a ‘walk-in’ x-ray service. Painkillers: is it beyond the ability