TRADESMAN’S
ENTRANCE
My Personal Handyman, who, when he
retired, promised that we would spend lots
more time together, has a little sideline
which over the past three years has begun
to overtake me as the focus of his attention.
I once read in a magazine article aimed at
retirees’ wives that after a month or so
“…he’ll be getting under your feet when
you’re trying to get on with your housework
routine, so you should encourage him to
take up a hobby”. I can’t begin to describe to
you how, in so many ways, this little piece of
folk wisdom does not sum up our situation.
Firstly – housework routine? What’s that? I
remember our daughter when very young
catching me hoovering and asking seriously
“Who’s coming?” Enough said. Secondly –
under my feet? You must be joking! This is
Hobbyman (which, now I think about it, is a
much better name for him than Handyman).
We’re lucky if we meet at mealtimes. In our
time together he has embraced (apart from
me of course) astronomy, photography,
horse-riding,
fencing,
guitar-playing,
archery, novel-writing, choir-singing and
currently heraldry. All in depth, and most
on-going.
I don’t complain, in fact I’ve learnt much
about all those subjects over the years, and
sometimes got involved myself.
For
example in astronomy, I learnt a lot lying flat
on my back on the coal bunker in the back
garden at midnight (watching for meteors!)
During the novel-writing, my experience as
an editor came in handy for the proofreading, once I managed to get over the
16
hurdle of criticising the one I love without
causing immense pain (I could tell you how,
but I’d have to charge you for my time).
Anyway, the latest: heraldry – not as dry as
it sounds, because it actually involves
making little decals or waterslide transfers
as they are properly known, for war-gaming
figures (or toy soldiers as I like to call them).
It began as a hobby - the detail was too
intricate to paint by hand, so he started
computer-designing his own shields and
other heraldic items and printing them on
decal paper, to be cut out and applied to the
figures. These were admired by online
correspondents, who asked if he would do
the same for them, and it has grown into a
business. Not hugely profitable, it must be
said, as you’d have to sell an awful lot of
sheets of printed paper to get rich on it, but
it keeps him off the streets.
There came a time when PH felt that the
web-site was not attracting enough
attention, and that maybe he should get out
there and meet some of the hobbyists to
drum up business – or go out and do battle,
as you might say if you were a war-gamer.
He booked a table at a weekend war-gaming
event which featured trader stands and table
games for big boys. He had a six-foot table,
with another behind to put the stock on, and
twelve hours of visibility over two days. I
went along as the glamorous assistant, (not
really needed as it turned out, as they were
the sort of customers who don’t meet your
eyes when they ask for something. I
mentioned this to another trader, who
commented: “It’s because you’re a woman.
They’re not used to talking to women.”). I
spent most of the day directing enquiries to
PH, being unable to answer questions on
“Norwegian infantry from the 1540 - 1545
war of the succession” or suchlike. (I made
that up, but you get the picture.) PH got into