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the conversation , you are giving the other person a clear message that what they have to say is unimportant . People enjoy feeling heard and valued in a conversation . If you want to correct this behavior , strive to talk only half the time in any conversation . Give others the chance to speak and then actively listen when they do .
5Everything is negative . Do you frequently talk about your problems , complaints , or pessimistic views about the world ? If so , you might be draining the people around you without even realizing it . There is a line between sharing your troubles with others and you constantly pouring out your complaints , criticisms and negative observations about people , places and things . People are likely to pull away if you are negative all of the time . A good tip to correct this lopsidedness is to share at least one positive thing for every negative thought you express . This will help you become more aware of what you are putting out into the world .
6You ’ re dishonest . Honesty is a crucial element of trust in any relationship . When you are dishonest , even in small ways , you are chipping away at that trust . Most people value honesty even when the truth is uncomfortable . Wouldn ’ t you rather know where you stand with someone , even if the truth is hard to hear ? If you want to correct this behavior , be honest , even when it ’ s difficult , this can help create deeper connections with others and earn you their genuine respect .
7You don ’ t keep your word . Things happen sometimes that forces us to cancel on our previous commitments but when it becomes a pattern , it can signal to others that you do not respect their time or value the relationship . If you are someone who consistently cancels out on commitments regardless of their significance , you are demonstrating to others that you are unreliable . You may overcommit to things because you don ’ t want to disappoint people . But overcommitting and under delivering is a quick way to destroy people ’ s trust and confidence in you . It is better to under promise and over deliver than to over promise and under deliver . So before committing to anything , take a moment to clearly think things through as to whether you can actually keep this commitment . It is better to say NO upfront than to break a commitment later .
8You find fault with most everything and everyone around you . Constructive criticism is valuable . But , there is a fine line between offering helpful feedback and constantly criticizing everyone and everything . Criticism , especially when it becomes your go to interaction , creates an emotional toll that many people won ’ t want to pay . They ’ ll start to avoid you like the plague . So the next time you are tempted to criticize , consider the impact it will have , not just on others , but on how people perceive you . Not everything requires your input . Before critiquing , ask yourself , “ Is it necessary ? Is it helpful ? Is it kind ?”
December 2023 | Valdosta Scene 45