Vagabonds: Anthology of the Mad Ones Vagabonds Vol. 3 | Página 58

If you're trying to imagine what went on during one of these sessions let me
congratulate you on your enthusiasm for the topic. Not an easy thing to dive into.
Before you reach the conclusion that any pleasure derived from this rather odd
intercourse was completely in the mind of the deluded partners let me remind
you of a certain quantum principle wherein the act of watching matter can affect
the observed reality. Or, in this case, recognizing the matter is there in the first
place.
I.e. believe that you have a tainthole/taint-gina/tunt and it shall be so.
In fact, reports began to circulate that sex with these new extra-dimensional
organs was even better than with the standard 3-D equipment.
Lost in all of the enthusiasm for the quantum fucking fad was the question of
why we had these extra holes and penes. Nobody much cared, there had yet to be
a case of a girl getting knocked up and delivering a five dimensional baby, no
quantum STDs and clean-up was a breeze.
For a few years the physicist was a rock star. The taint was a rock star. Interest in
math and science was off the charts.
So much so that eventually they found other holes and other appendages in
higher dimensions, including a male hole and a corresponding female member in
the nastiest of all dimensions ... the thirteenth.
By the time the big brains started peaking into dimensions in the twenties the
human body was little more than Velcro. It was hard to find a square inch of the
body that wouldn't hook onto or into another person if they both believed
enough. Old people smiled to themselves and said "That explains a lot."
Interest in typical pornography disappeared. It was looked at the same way we
think of hula hoops and Pet Rocks now. In fact, three dimensional sex itself was
viewed as passé. Boring. Sticky. Smelly.
A chore endured only for procreation.
Birthrates plummeted.
In the third dimension anyway.
Before you go and feel sorry for all the newly created baby beings residing in
higher dimensions just know most of them stayed curled up in both parents and
every other person in the universe.
Until someone with a napkin and a pencil decided to take a look anyway ...
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