Vagabonds: Anthology of the Mad Ones Vagabonds Vol. 3 | Page 57

Fucking Ghosts Lance Manion His views on the fairer sex made him a bit of a dinosaur. Well, that and the armored plates that ran down his back. Luckily for him they weren't visible. He was strictly in the 'survival of the fittest camp', but this typically didn't present many problems as the girls he typically ran into were firmly ensconced in the 'take anyone with a heartbeat and a decent job' camp. That was about to change due to his job. He was the ugly physicist who became the sexual swan. He was the guy who, while playing around with uncurling the dimensions curled up inside each other, found the hole that wasn't there. Or wasn't there until he proved it was. Although the paper he presented was a little short on sizzle it didn't take long for the implications of the discovery to take root. Females had another tiny hole between their vagina and anus. Not visible with our eyes or even with any technology that currently exists it was there nonetheless. There in the fifth dimension. Also in the fifth dimension was a tiny little penis tucked under the ball sack of males. And little armored spikes that run down the male spine. It was all there in the math. Give him a cocktail napkin, a pencil and twenty minutes and he could show you. Assuming, of course, you had a strong background in Bosonic string theory. For those who didn't, they relied on the celebrity scientists to explain it all to them. The public couldn't get enough. Suddenly the ugly physicist was in play. He went from speaking engagements to talk shows to putting his fifth dimensional penis to work on some of the hottest females on the planet. It became quite fashionable to have your fifth dimension cherry broken by the man who discovered it in the first place. 55