US Service Life Sept Oct 2013 | Page 16

RELATIONSHIPS Communication in a Relationship by Michael Brady Communication is a vital part of our lives: a typical day involves many interactions between ourselves, our work colleagues and clients, our children, our friends, our ex’s, future relationships, etc. This interaction takes place where we live, work, relax, socialize and wherever we perform routine tasks. Communication skills are critical for building healthy relationships, especially when one realizes that one of the most common causes of relational breakdown is a lack of communication. Just as communication can be the most important part of a relationship; arguments can be the most destructive aspect - the closer we are to someone, the more easily we can bruise or be bruised. There is very little truth in the saying: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me.” It’s not what we say, but rather how we say it, that most often hurts another person. Do you identify with any of these statements? “He never listens to me when I talk!” “She talks and talks, but never actually says anything!” “It’s like talking to a brick wall” “I can’t get through to you” “We can’t talk about anything important without getting into a fight” 12 “She’s too emotional - she’s either crying or shouting or complaining. It’s easier to avoid her” “He always gets defensive when I try to talk about issues” Communication is a complex process; of which speaking only makes up for 10-20%. The other 80-90% is made up by facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, etc. Communication is the art/ science of transferring a thought/ idea/ information from the mind of one complex human being to the mind of one or more complex human being(s). For communication to be effective, it must be a two-way process. Dynamics of Interpersonal Communication 1. Facts: