diving cousins, they just laughed and said humans are
weird, pointing out “Boca Raton” being a fancy pants
ritzy place. I know some cool rats, but didn’t think rich
people would name their city after a rat’s mouth. I’m
exploring the park before the Renaissance Faire starts,
watching the local wildlife ready itself for the
migration which will happen soon. Rennies will begin
making their annual migrations from their wintering
grounds to warmer and brighter places. They will come
out of hibernation, binge watching seasons of Dr. Who
and hours of video games to frolic, mate, and work in
the South.
I do want to warn Rennies. Be careful when
you migrate through Georgia. I saw Walking Dead. Be
careful not to get bit by zombies. I’ve been talking to
the most prevalent animals who roam the park. The
opossum gang. Godfather Possum (got his name from
a pizza box) has strict guidelines for his gang. They are
to traverse the top of the wall behind the campground
at night, avoiding predators and searching for a messy
campsite full of possible snacks. They promise they
will only visit and rummage if you leave them lots of
perishable, smelly food otherwise they’ll stick to their
Dumpster Diet.
all the time. We have assigned specific
spaces for specific voltages.
#4-We have made spaces bigger this year.
Hopefully, this will help alleviate some of the
parking problems.
#5-There is no vehicle parking south of the
road in primitive! I will start kicking people out
who violate this rule! The park is already
getting pissed about this!
#6-To remind everyone: in primitive, all units
must be 5 feet from the base of any tree, and
nothing may be tied to trees.
#7-There is a new privy company. Tidy Coast
was bought out by a company called United.
1-800-864-5387.
8#-Folks, if something isn't right like, say, the
lights are off in the shower trailer, please tell
somebody. Me, Southwood Ras, anybody on
They’re just starting to get the Faire set up. site crew. You don't have to take a cold
There are little punk dinosaurs waddling around and shower in the dark
sunning themselves. I will be observing them to report
back to you on these non-aggressive velociraptor That's it for now.
wannabes.
Be seeing you.
Some things you should know
with Jac
#1-Facebook is not a valid venue for
campground business. Do not pm me
invoices. Bring them to me after you have
checked into the office and gotten your
passes. I will want to see both.
#2-There will be no trust this year. I trusted a
couple of people last year, and later found out
I was lied to. Bring me invoices, and bring me
passes. Period.
#3-Southwood, the electricians and I have
done a great deal of planning to make it so
that we are not blowing breakers and mains
Originally published in
Issue 5, Scarborough 1993