A common childhood experience for many people is being emotionally abandoned by a parent.
This makes the person feel unloved, unaccepted and misunderstood, putting the blame on themselves. The emotions become internalized. Since children often don’t understand how to process abandonment, the blame and negative thoughts become deeply embedded, resulting in adult anxiety, depression and addiction issues, etc.
Sadly, parental abandonment is usually a cycle that repeats itself, with one generation hurting the next and creating a toxic, broken family environment. Parents who have experienced parental abandonment often cause it themselves and need healing too.
The good news is that the cycle of destruction can stop with you. It is important to process feelings of abandonment and deal with the related issues in a healthy manner so you can be a whole, healthy person who is capable living a full life. Then if you want to, you'll be prepared to create a more supportive home for your own children one day.
When parents are critical, dismissive, invasive or preoccupied, this communicates to a child that “Your feelings don’t matter” or “Your feelings are unacceptable."
I was raised by my aunt and uncle and my mom showed up in and out of my life whenever it was good for her. I tried to be the perfect girl so that everyone would love me. I thought if I was perfect, my mom would want to be around me more.
Samantha