team workshops , the unique race museum and the top-secret design labs . I picked my jaw off the lino .
“ But you must not take any photos in the workshops ,” warned my guide , frowning . I was too gobsmacked to care . A tour of the plain old assembly line would have been pretty good . This was heaven on a stick for any Aprilia owner .
I spent at least an hour revelling in a one-on-one walkabout delivered by the Aprilia Team Top Man . There I was , the only outsider in the whole place , gawping as we strolled through their special production area , the workshops where they assembled and calibrated MotoGP race engines , the test rigs where they tuned chassis handling for GP riders , and the display where they kept their winning GP bikes in the museum . Bikes ridden by Rossi , Bradl , Pons , Melandri , Capirossi , Biaggi and more gods of the sport were just sitting around waiting for me to goggle at and stroke reverently if I fancied .
At the end of my tour Sofia , the woman who had taken pity on me and rescued me from Prefetto di Ferro ’ s negative force field took me into the deserted Aprilia gift shop . The shelves were dripping with exclusive you-can ’ t-get-thisstuff-anywhere-else goodies . She selected several stickers and a lovely illustrated book on Aprilia ’ s history for me . Then she asked what size of special edition race t-shirt I would like to choose . I swooned , but remembered my finances were getting a little low and that the bogstandard group tour could cost quite a bit on its own . I asked how much for the tour , the book , the t-shirt , and all .
“ Nothing ,” she smiled . “ It is enough that you love our bikes . It ’ s from us .” I fought back tears of gratitude . I had planned to sell the Tuono when I returned to England , before going back to Singapore . But my treatment that day polished my loyalty to a glittering shine and led to more Aprilia chest-puffing than the security guard could ever have imagined ; my fealty was complete and utter . I decided not to sell , and instead passed the bike ( now a valuable historic heirloom by association ) on to my son Robin . Who knows , one day he might ride it again to Noale , to its rightful and honourable home .
I told him if he does , to give my regards to the testa di cazzo on the gate . JT
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